Why Be the Biggest Loser
Buddha was asked, “What have you gained from meditation?” He replied, “Nothing! However,” Buddha said, “let me tell you what I lost: Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Fear of Old age and Death.”
We are in a habit of acquiring things be it a new car, house or a prestigious title to add to our name. The more we acquire, the stronger our ego is. We may even be after a state of bliss when we think about what we can gain out of a meditation sitting. It’s the spiritual ego that gets swollen with false pride.
Our struggles often arise when we are not successful in getting what we want. We become angry, anxious, depressed, insecure and fearful as a result. We act out of our ego selves.
By having more as compared to someone else, our egos believe that we are one up over another. It does not count if everyone has the same material item. Ours have to be bigger, better and more powerful than what our friends, relatives or colleagues have. After all, if it is the same, what is the point on posting the pictures of these things on Facebook or Instagram? The more “likes” we get on social media, the more we feel good about ourselves. Never mind if we don’t even know half the strangers who clicked “like” to our posts online.
Perhaps the most elusive of all is the spiritual ego. With a swollen spiritual ego in place, it is possible to get judgmental on those who appear to be less enlightened than us. We erroneously believe that we are better than others or we should be above it all. However, when we are quick to judge others for their emotional reactions, we forget that we were once where they are. The reality is that we have not advanced in our practice but merely shifted our ego attachment from one thing to another.
The spiritual ego also gets in the way especially when we want to exert control or will ourselves into deeper states of meditation. We want our sittings to be perfect, we want to ensure that we get into jhanas quickly and we want our minds to stay still. But our minds are anything but still when we try to force ourselves.
Well, as I have discovered, the path to happiness does not merely comprise of setting intentions or goals to attract what we desire. Yes, mastering the power of the mind to leverage on the universal Law of Attraction (LOA) is a wonderful thing. However, it’s as much about letting go as it is about setting intentions in a desired direction. It happens when no matter how we practice we know about LOA, what we hope or dream about does not seem to materialize in the way we expect things to pan out. We will need to ascertain if there is some unnecessary emotional baggage that we need to offload, rather than create more roadblocks for ourselves.
The Art of Letting Go
During the meditation retreat that I was in last week, Ajahn Brahm – head abbot of Bodhinyana Monastery in Perth – pointed out that it is not always about winning in life. On the contrary, he laughingly extolled the benefits of being the “biggest” loser. He shared that meditation is not about gaining stuff but losing the burdens that we carry.
All this sounds great in theory but what happens if we find it hard to meditate?
Let’s first ask ourselves if we are trying to force ourselves to sit still. The more we try to exert control at the mental level, the more we will not be able to meditate. It’s useful to note that the ego does not agree with a state of emptiness. It is not content with keeping quiet. In fact, what is more we become particularly harsh inwards when we are not able to meditate. Our egos keep us busy with opinions, criticisms and judgments.
However, if we can simply allow instead of fighting the moment, going into stillness becomes a lot easier. Becoming present to the breath means that our minds are neither in the past nor in the future. No longer thinking about our suffering, we allow ourselves to rest in the present moment. In other words, we are in acceptance in the here and now.
Going on the meditation retreat has been a helpful reminder for me that hitting sudden roadblocks in our path is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, they may have well surfaced because we are being challenged to evolve to the next step. However, if we are responding by creating a huge racket with anger, anxiety and fear of death, it’s the ego that we have been putting in charge. And letting the ego be in charge sets us up for suffering even as we seek happiness.
Lose Fear, Gain Love
In the tranquil surroundings in Thailand, I was able to rest in contemplation. I felt blessed for the opportunity to experience such a wonderful place for a getaway. I was clearly reminded about how blessed my life has been.
I was blessed with the opportunity to meditate by the beach every day. The net result was a positive experience from my sittings: more peaceful, centered and lighter. In fact, I felt as if there were not enough guided meditation sessions. I wished for more of the wonderful states.
Luckily, Ajahn Brahm pointed out that hoping for more joy, love and peace is a good thing. I am led to conclude that what comes from the true heart is not the same as craving that arises from the ego. Hence, lose the stuff that drains our energy but go for the real essence of things that lift us up!
All in, from my meditation sittings, the insight that I brought back with me as I returned to the physical world: In losing what I fear most, I have gained a whole lot more.
Love and Abundance Always,
P.S. My understanding of self increased ever since I became more mindful of the ego and how the mind works. It will be great if more people can increase their self awareness too. So if you share the same vision of raising happiness in this world, please share this post on FB or your other favourite social media platforms 🙂 Thank you!
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