Timeless Unfolding of Truths
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In the few weeks and months leading to my last blogging break, I felt that something has already begun to shift inside me. I was gradually questioning the futility of having spiritual experiences without the realization of deeper truths. Let me explain further.
(Where am I on my self growth journey?)
For a time while seeking for answers to “who am I”, I was led into past life experiences, out-of-body experiences and different dimensions. These personal experiences were triggered both on the conscious and the unconscious levels. They helped me discover with some important realizations. One of my most first knowing was that I was a spirit having a human experience and not the other way round.
However, as time went on, I also found out that it was very possible to have spiritual growth without addressing emotional obstacles. I noted the increasing popularity of spiritual healing methods that promised to hasten spiritual growth in preparation for ascension in 2012. Much of the demand was fueled by people who had assumed that their spiritual development would take care of growth in other areas – emotionally, intellectually and physically. At the same time, these people were unwilling to spend more time in inner emotional work. They were found in repeated bitter complaints about disharmony, unhappiness and conflicts experienced in their everyday lives.
While I personally did not really care all that much about ascension, I was also beginning to be lured by the promises of instant programs or workshops that could potentially make me some spiritually advanced! (Talk about being gullible!) I had a growing envy of those who could experience direct downloads from their angelic team, channel effortlessly or see future visions in panoramic 3-D! Yet, intuitively, I knew that a chase to grow spiritually at a breakneck speed did not feel right. My spiritual ego would ask me to consider signing up for a “light activation of Atlantean energy” workshop but my inner wisdom would tell me to focus on the traditional mindfulness practice instead.
Truth In the Moment
So there I was one fine day during my blogging break, trying to make sense of my egoistic desire to have things quick versus an aching disappointment over my seemingly poor progress. On this particular day, the weather was lovely. It was not too hot.
As I busied with laying my mat on the ground under a tree, I made the same wish of seeing a rainbow appear across the distant sky. With the mat neatly placed, I lay down on my back and faced up. No rainbow again, I mused. Then, my initial disappointment of not seeing a rainbow soon gave way as I became aware of the beauty before me.
(The canopy above me)
That day, I saw the threads of gold, red and green weaved in the hanging tapestry of leaves. Gold represented the illuminating richness of the day. Red a burst of aliveness. And green, the harmony existing in nature. In hoping for a rainbow, I understood that I could have missed enjoying the surrounding beauty and hence, divorce myself from the essence of truth in that very moment.
“Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold.”
— anonymous
The Journey To Ultimate Truth
With experiencing an uplift in my mood, I reviewed my journey so far. I soon saw how lucky I was. Whatever lessons I needed to learn had surfaced at the most appropriate time. While it would be nice to say that the lessons were less intensifying over time, it did not happen that way for me. I realized that high intensity periods had only emerged at the point of hitting some major resistances. They signified the need to release the next deeper layer but more-subtle emotional blocks. So, layer-by-layer, I had worked on my issues. And layer-by-layer, experiences – whether at the physical, emotional or spiritual level – had unfolded to allow me into deeper and deeper truths. Each had taken place in perfect timing and perfect order.
I began to understood that whether emotional or spiritual, each path has the potential to free our energy blocks. Both levels of work are a continuum. It was almost impossible to separate the two. What I felt that was especially important for me was to integrate them meaningfully with a mindfulness practice. Conscious awareness was important to bring about more refined knowing and intuitive insight. I also recognized that at each stage, I needed to release what was acquired before, in order to have deeper understandings. As I began to see how truth had unfolded in the sequence of time and order, I let go of the idea that I was “not there yet”. There was no need to quicken my spiritual growth using any form of quick-fix method.
(Let go of the step below to reach for a higher step)
Acquiring knowledge is like climbing a ladder: in order to step up to a higher rung, we have to let go of the rung we are stepping on. If we believe that the step we are standing on is the highest, then we can climb no higher. The technique of learning in this tradition is always to release, to let go of what we have just learned, of what we have already obtained. Never believe that what you know is the absolute truth.
Thich Nhat Hanh
I decided to clarify my priorities for my next step. My intent was to be mindful about the subtler motivations of my ego. My journey would no longer be about trying to find out if ascended masters, angels or guides exist (the “proof is in the pudding”). Nor would it be about aiming to build a clear communication line with higher beings, so that they could be at my beck and call for instant manifestations. I have to give up the thought of having them on speed dial! Hmmm….[pause]…I take my previous sentence back…maybe let me just say that I will not reject their “telephone” calls to me if they decide to put me on speed dial themselves 🙂
(Dew drops on a bunch of frangipanis)
“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”
— Buddha
What would be more important to me in my next step forward was about investigating self-nature and the true essence of things. It is about truly and completely in full acceptance of here and now. It is about releasing myself from the subtler emotions that prevents me from living freely. Two practices come to mind in relation to this: mindfulness and abundance. Both to be creatively interweaved for a practical and deliberate way of living. And so it is and shall be, until further insightful findings.
Nature Tapestry Note
Note for the Day: Truth realization is a journey of unfolding and interweaving of experiences – emotionally, mentally and spiritually – that gradually unveils the essence of things in perfect timing and perfect order. Be prepared, therefore, not to cling on to beliefs, memories or ideas that were formed just but yesterday. Experience each moment with newness. And the moment becomes alive for you!
Note of Appreciation
I deeply appreciate the support all you readers have shown me through the comments written in response to my last post. Your encouragement is the only reason why this blog continues to exist today. Namaste.
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Evelyn Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Hello Lance,
Glad to have you here too! Thank you for your feedback!
With love,
Evelyn