What is Wounded Child Healing
Have you come across the term “wounded child healing” and wonder if it is something that you may need?
Well, I’d like to offer a brief description of what I understand “wounded child healing” to be.
[Note: I’m re-publishing this article as it is still relevant even after 10 years ;-)]
What is Wounded Child Healing
The “wounded child” is an archetype which contains damaged or negative emotional patterns of our youth. It may help to improve your understanding if we can draw reference from someone famous, like Michael Jackson. After all, no one tells the story of the wounded child better than him. The clues are obvious in the lyrics to his song “Childhood”….
Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the Childhood I’ve never known…
Loving The Wounded Child
Loving the wounded child is about healing ourselves through acknowledging the trauma and hurt that we suffered when we were young and then freeing ourselves from them. As adults, we have allowed these memories to dictate how we run our lives. Actions taken as a result of them are largely driven by fear and may no longer serve us; even if at one stage, they have helped us to cope and navigate through a confusing period during our growing years.
Here is something for you to think about…
The outer story of your adult life, thus far, reflects the inside story of your wounded child.
We hold dysfunctional self images through the stories of our childhood. How we perceive ourselves is pretty much directed by the childhood programming that we have had. Our childhood programming is largely influenced by our caregivers, who represented the world to us while we were young. We form relationships based on what we learn from our parents. Our parents in turn learn about theirs from their parents. So it is in us that we have layers and layers of beliefs, patterns and behavior passed down from generation to generation.
Yet, as much as not wishing to be like any of our parents, we find ourselves having adopted the same patterns, behavior and attitudes. It often comes as no surprise that we end up in similar patterns to theirs. We may not recognize it at first but the patterns are the same recurring themes of trauma.
Negative patterns essentially bear the same emotional pain energy even though they may take on different forms. For instance, a history of sexual abuse can translate into emotional abuse on our own children. Anorexia, obesity or alcoholism may be traced to negative self images perpetuated by our parents during our younger days. It is possible that our current feelings of rejection has a root cause in us being abandoned years ago.
While there are the rare courageous few who rise above their traumas, the vast majority of us carry the wounds of our childhood around. The same patterns manifest in every aspect of our lives; at home, in the office; in the relationships we have with our spouses, kids, parents or friends; or even physically.
Wounded Child Healing: Releasing the Trauma
Indeed, the wounds of your inner child can create much havoc in the relationships you have with yourself and others. Through healing, you confront the archetypal force within your psyche. With confronting rather than stifling the voice, you release the little child. You recognize that you have been compelled to grow up too fast.
Carrying the baggage of an openly wounded child keeps you living in the past. You keep alive the story of your past of abandonment, abuse, betrayal, rejection, guilt and shame. Your energy resonates the same vibrational pattern. If you have ever wondered why you attract the same type of experiences, herein lies the reason why.
Your wounded child has no awareness of spiritual lessons. He or she may want to stay hurt, angry and vindictive even. You will need to release the energetic story of your wounded child. As long as you allow your wounded child to be in the driver’s seat, you will not be able to operate without fear.
Wounded child healing means caring for yourself so that the things of the past no longer hurt you. You realize your need for healing because you are only hurting yourself, most of all, when you carry the baggage around. You do this by acknowledging the wounded child within. You call up the little kid for the unfinished business of loving, nurturing and embracing him or her. Once completed, you stop feeding a “poor me” mentality.
You may initially feel resistant to releasing yourself from the pain of your childhood story. You have identified with it for so long that you suspect you will feel lost without one. After all, you need someone or something to take the blame for your current dysfunctional self or life. You are filled with a sense of righteous anger towards your parents, family or friends for the person you have now become. Giving up the story is going to put you in great discomfort.
Well, you need to understand that it is your ego’s need to cling on to a form, a story. Your childhood story is essentially a collection of thoughts of the past. You have to realize that you cannot hope to create an empowering life if you do not first release your attachment to an old script.
Freeing Your Wounded Child
For wounded child healing, you may be invited to explore forgiveness. You work on forgiving yourself by letting your inner child that it is not her fault. Also, you may consider if you are willing to forgive those who could have contributed to the situation that you are now in.
Taking one or two steps back potentially gives you a clearer picture. For instance, it allows you to see whether your parents have also been emotionally hurt as a result of their own childhood experiences. They have unconsciously inflicted on you what they have suffered as children.
It also boils down to choice. Think about it this way. Decide which you would rather have: continued pain or ultimate freedom?
Your Thoughts Please
I wrote this article in a series of thoughts on self discovery. My thoughts were sparked due to my own personal experiences from working through on my own healing.
Over to you. Do you carry around with you a wounded child? What does your inner child say? If you have dealt with wounded or inner child issues, do share what has worked for you.
In Loving Kindness,
Evelyn Lim
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Evelyn Reply:
May 10th, 2010 at 8:55 am
Hello Melis,
Please look out for an email response from me.
Hugs,
Evelyn