Me In Every Thought

Yeah, awesome Evelyn. Great discussion on the nature of identification with the false self.

What do you mean about changing thoughts from a “me” to a “we?”

There is definitely an evolutionary step when we go from being purely self-centered to concerned about others, yet there’s also another step where we go from worrying about the “me” or the “others” into Self-centeredness, focusing on the True Self which encompasses all that we would call “me” or “other” or anything else. “We” becomes the One which somehow expresses itself as the Infinite.

Very interesting post Evelyn. I’m just recently coming to the concepts you’re discussing, so they seem a bit like a foreign language to me. But I do sense the inherent power in the knowledge, and the transformation it can bring.

My own journey down this path has begun. But it seems the ego has no intention of letting go without a fight. Part of the process, I’m sure.

Cheers…

I think that this perception of ‘I’ or ‘me’ changing to a ‘we’ is much more a part of what personality type you are. I rely on the enneagram as a valid measurement. I have found few of the tests out there measure pretty accurately. You could also say, a better description than personality, is sometimes referred to as incarnations. What life are you on? Are you evolved spiritually enough? If something horrible were happening around you and you saw something miraculously good happening in the midst of all the chaos and turmoil would you marvel at the one good thing in a mountain of bad? Could you put aside the ‘me’ for the ‘we’? Being Catholic we have saints and to be sainted one usually has to have overlooked the ‘me’ at great expense for the ‘we’.

Great article. Like it.

Hi Evely – The ego is a real nuisance isn’t it? I’ve never really had a problem with wanting more material things than others.

But until I started recognising the voice of the ego for what it was, I had real problems with dwelling on situations where I felt that I’d been harmed by others. It’s a really depressing thing. I’m pretty good at shutting the ego up, as soon as it starts to speak but when I’m feeling vulnerable – usually when I have PMS, sometimes it sneaks in.

Evelyn you’ve hit it on the target! Great post~
Did you know there are a variety of conditioning’s?
1. Classical~ If a stimulus that results in an emotional response is repeated alongside another stimulus which does not cause an emotional response, eventually the second stimulus will result in the same emotional response. (Ivan P. Pavlov)
Defending~ Watch out for people repeatedly touching you or having strange behaviors. Check that they’re not trying to program you.
Operant Conditioning~ A behavior will increase if it is followed by positive reinforcement. It will decrease if it is followed by punishment. Operant conditioning is thus “learning by consequences.”
Using it conditioning~ If you want them to stop smoking, make it unpleasant when they do rather than pleasant when they refrain.
Four Stressors~ Pain, exhaustion, delay, confusion. Two of these stressors are physical and two are mental. Physical stressors are pain and exhaustion.
Mental stressors delay and confusion. Another way of dividing them is by the methods of direct threat and indirected erosion.
Pain Conditioning~
Exhaustion Conditioning~
Delay Conditioning~By causing cognitive distress. Cognitive dissonance.
Confusion~ conflicting signals. In any situation where other people may suffer stress and distress, always remember the caveat. Persuading people by changing their minds.
The betrayal response~ It has been said that friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. We also know that those who would persuade unethically will find a way, whatever. At least you see through their games called life and avoid being duped!
I believe that this purpose in life is to learn from others behavior, society is our teachers. Everything, in every moment, becomes a teacher. How they connect, beyond the forms of the person, to see that moment, to not bring anything to it, but for us to just observe.
Namaste

Evelyn, another interesting post. I also like the Enneagram as a tool for looking at how our egos attach, I will have to review some of your past posts on it. How to change from a ‘me’ to a ‘we’…I like this way of putting the question. I guess I think of this in terms of acceptance of others, which I think is the doorway to compassion. It is along the lines of non-judgment as you said. When we just deal with what is, with the reality of what someone is saying or doing, without piling a bunch of judgments stemming from our own insecurities or desires on top of it, we don’t feel separate from them, and can deal with them mindfully and compassionately.

Hiya

This is insightful stuff. Quickly after beginning meditating I recognised the things you have written about. I observed my thinking and realised you don’t stop thought processes only identify with something else.

For example, in meditation I identify easily with being still and relaxed. This identity is more like the space thoughts exist in.

Importantly for me, I found accepting ‘thinking’ allowed me to remove my identity from it. I don’t stop it, I don’t remove it or banish it.

Rather like relaxing in the peace of a beautiful garden, you accept the sounds of animals and insects, the wind and people’s voices then suddenly you notice the space of the garden and enjoy that.

Thanks for your wonderful post
Jens

Hi Evelyn,
Getting from me to we – a great thought. For me, it’s about understanding others, and trying not to judge. I really work on this – on not letting my own ego take over without fully realizing that each person has gotten to where they are because of a circumstances I can’t fully realize. This thought really helps me to work toward a “we”. Not always easy to do, sometimes the ego still likes to step in and take over. Being conscious of this helps…

“Your true essence is therefore separate from your ego. You can recognize your ego. You know it through its attachments to physical possessions or thoughts.”

I love this line, Evelyn. I am often my ego, especially when I feel disrespected or hurt by another’s actions. My ego reads too much into that action, taking it personally.

For me, sitting in a quiet room with candles and aromatherapy burning in a pot helps to still that ego. The darkness eliminates distractions, and the smell focuses my mind on a physical sensation, which helps stop active thinking, and just breathing deeper and deeper to smell more and more. It’s so calming that I’ve started to do this most nights.

In these times, “I” the ego doesn’t exist anymore, so that “I” the essence does. This was an awesome post. You explain the ego so well.

Hi Evelyn – what a great article! I think of the ego as a tool for expressing ourselves in the world – it’s fine if it is used correctly. For many things we need a decent ego – troubles start if we start buying into the ego’s endless comparisons and belief in separation – that’s how I see it, anyway. I remember someone in a workshop saying “the ego would rather be right than happy”. I love “In form, you may look different from another human; but at source, you are One and the same.”

I can’t really offer advice because I’m still in the process of working on it. I’m not sure I could ever completely let go of my ego, but as you suggest, I’m working to recognize when it holds me back and makes me focus on the wrong things.

I really enjoyed reading this post. It was so well-written and I really appreciated some of the points you made in it. The Ego is a funny thing, isn’t it? We could all benefit from putting an end to the “me me me” and thinking more about the collective “we.”

Evelyn,
This is such a great post I was thinking how much I hope you write a book so I can have all your posts in one place…(plus I love books!)

What works well for me is thinking of my ego as a reflection of the Divine Ego. So every time I say “I am.. such and such” I ask myself if what I am saying is true for the Divine Ego. So if I believe in a Divine Ego that is peaceful and balanced, how can it be true for me if I say “I am so incredibly stressed” if that is not true for my spiritual sense of Ego.

This has helped so much to help me let old patterns fall away as not part of the True me and let me live more aligned with my spiritual intent.
Great Article as always, Evelyn.

Hi Evelyn,

I have this image of my ego has being a little girl who just wants to be heard. So I have found that if I allow her to share what she needs to share, see it for what it is, and thank her for contributing her thoughts on whatever is the issue at hand, it makes my life a whole lot easier. 🙂

I really enjoyed this post. I mean, we really liked it. Oops, I mean…
All kidding aside, if we put self down the list only good things can happen.

peace,
mike
livelife365

Hi Evelyn,

Earlier this evening I was listening to/watching the interview Oprah did with Echkart Tolle (part 2) of A New Awakening and they were discussing ego. He stressed how it’s important for us to live in the “now” and not give in to the ego. Between that and now your fabulous article, I’m beginning to get a grasp on it, but still need to let all of the ideas marinate.

Hi Evelyn,

Thanks for another great post! I find these days that I’m very watchful and distrustful of my ego, and it can be exhausting! I like Nadia’s idea of viewing it as little girl in need of love and compassion. I think I’m going to try that out for a while.

Hi Evelyn — one thing I do to stay conscious of the humanity I share with people around me is to focus on how I feel in my body around other people, rather than the thoughts I think about them. The heart, to me, feels much more naturally compassionate than the mind.

Thanks Evelyn for this nice post!

As what you had mentioned earlier, probably the only time we can avoid the ego- thingy is when we enter the “gap”…. Are there any other ways than that?

This was enlightening. I enjoyed every word of it. I really did.

Hi Evelyn. This was a fantastic post — great job! It occurred to me while I was reading, that when we completely accept and love ourselves, there is NO ego! No separation. The ego seems to come up only because we are feeling separated from “something”. I suspect that when we come to accept and love ourselves completely, that even includes the ego. It all becomes a part of the whole… instead of separate pieces.

Just an observation: there seems to be a paradox of sorts in that by the time you stop to think you are already in the past, but it still took thought to rationalize this post.

Regardless, I really liked this post and I think it helped. Thanks!

Insightful article. Yeah my ego spins out of control once in a while. I’m really trying to focus on the moment. It’s a disciplinary exercise because you can become consumed by the past instead of the moment.

Hi Evelyn,

This is a really thought-provoking post. As somebody who just finished an MBA program, ego is something I’ve seen and battle on a daily basis. I think that you are right that being aware is really the key. I’ve had incidents in the last few days where somebody said something I did wouldn’t work and it ended up working and I wanted to email them and throw it in their face, but then I realized, that’s my ego’s need to feel right and superior, but it wont’ do anything for me other than make me seem like a jerk. Great blog, just added to my RSS feed 🙂

“It is very possible that you go through life, never having a break in the stream of your thoughts. One thought follows another. There is no space between them. You become completely identified with the unending stream of thoughts that go on inside your head. ”

Spot on.

This is a great article.

I loved the sentence about when you think you are already in the past – I love to think and contemplated and not just BE….I keep having to make appointments to just be….I have so much I want to get done…living in the future…writing always puts me in the here and now…

Very good, clear post…Thank you
I will need to read this one several times as a reminder