How to Heal Childhood Wounds: 4 Common Patterns

A childhood wound is an emotional pain or a negative belief that a part of us internalised due to a traumatic past event or the relationship we had with our parents or caregivers when we were young. 

As I have discovered, unresolved childhood wounds can adversely affect the quality of life in our adult years. Indeed, they have an impact on our  personalities, beliefs, career choices, and relationships. We can also be  passing on our childhood wounds to the future generations. 

Our wounded child is acting up if we often find ourselves in self-sabotage, making poor choices or having over-the-top reactions to triggers. She or he is crying for attention of unhealed emotions. If we choose to ignore our wounded child, we can be stuck for years. 

Awareness helps to kickstart our healing journey. We can start to uncover the emotional childhood wounds that we have. In this article, I am sharing 4 common patterns. Manifesting what we do want and transforming our life often becomes a lot easier after healing work is done. 

4 Common Patterns of Childhood Wounds 

Learn to identify 4 common patterns of childhood wounds and check to see if you have them…

1. Abandonment Wound 
– Feels left behind & lonely.
– Rather insecure. 
– Co-dependency.
Description: If you’ve often felt lonely, left behind or left out, you may have an abandonment wound. It could be tied to childhood where you’ve perceived being abandoned by your parents or caregivers. As a result, you have deep fears of being left on your own and can become clingy and needy.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to quit on relationships on suspicion that the partner is going to leave anytime soon and tendency to abandon projects early.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Remind yourself that other people are not abandoning you. Distinguish between fact vs fiction. Release any past abandonment childhood wound (one option is to apply EFT tapping). Stay committed to projects. 

2. Guilt Wound
– Feels “sorry” when asking for things.
– Uses guilt to manipulate others.
– Can’t seem to set boundaries. 
Description: If you’ve often felt like you need to take care of others, you may have a guilt childhood wound. As a child, you may have been made to feel bad for asking for things and that you are not deserving. As a result, you try to over-give or be “good”. Yet, when you do so, your efforts are not appreciated. It is also when you guilt-trip others. This doesn’t satisfy you either. 
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to be around those who make you feel guilty. 
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Avoid thinking that you have to rescue everyone. Release any guilt that your inner child is holding on to. Work on setting healthy boundaries. 

3. Betrayal Wound
– Can’t trust.
– Suspicious of others.
– Want control.
– Need plenty of external validation.
Description: When you generally don’t trust life, you may have a betrayal childhood wound. It may be that your parents weren’t able to fulfil promises or have failed you in some way. In order to compensate, you find yourself needing control. However, the inability to control everything causes you to feel vulnerable and insecure. 
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to attract people who would betray you or who fail to keep promises. 
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Build inner trust by keeping to promises & commitments to yourself first. Heal any betrayal wound that comes from the past. Practice surrender and letting go, knowing that you are actually safe. 

4. Neglect Wound 
– Low self-worth.
– Feels vulnerable, uncared for and unsupported.
– Represses feelings. 
Description: When you often feel unsupported and have deep fears of being rejected and “not important”, you may have a neglect childhood wound. You are afraid of “not being seen” and you bottle anger on the inside. This can cause you to have sudden outbursts. 
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to attract situations where you are “unseen” or unappreciated. 
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Acknowledge how your inner child feels and help her (or him) to release any bottled up emotions. Let her know that you are there for her now and that you are always available to support her. 

Summary of Childhood Wounds

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Heal Your Childhood Wounds: What Is Next 

The above are 4 common patterns to childhood wounds, amongst others. It’s possible for anyone to have more than one wound pattern. For a start, learn to identify the various patterns and aspects and how they may have impacted you. Stay alert to the 7 signs that your inner child may be asking for help.  

“The emotional wounds and negative patterns of childhood often manifest as mental conflicts, emotional drama, and unexplained pains in adulthood.” ~Unknown

Awareness is only the first step. For healing to be integrated, I recommend looking into using a somatic approach such as EFT tapping. In the book The Body Keeps the Score, we find out that the body stores the trauma and therefore, it is vital for releasing the wounds or negative patterns from the body. Do reach out to me if you need assistance on EFT tapping for wounded child healing. Alternatively, check out my online course on How You can Reparent Yourself with Love here.

Hope this helps, 
Evelyn Lim 
Abundance Coach for Women 
Accredited Advanced EFT Practitioner
Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner 

Related articles: 

1. What is Wounded Child Healing

2. 7 Signs that Your Wounded Child Needs Help

3.What is Reparenting Yourself and How to Get Started