How to Connect with Your Inner Child: Words for Healing
When connecting with our inner child for the first time, we may feel at a loss about what to say or what to do. It’s possible that we feel weird because it is as if we are talking to ourselves. After all, our inner child exists in the mind and no one else can see her (or him) but us. Also, what words can we use to support healing?
According to psychologists, our inner child is described as the hidden part of our personality that is characterised by playfulness, spontaneity, and creativity usually accompanied by anger, hurt, and fear attributable to childhood experiences.
Through our mind’s eye, we connect with our inner self from tracing back to our earliest memory on when we felt the same (negative) way. We get a sense of how old our younger self was and the situation she was in. She may be our 3-year old, 6 year-old or whatever age and she is holding on to hurt, anger, helplessness or any unresolved need. It is when we (our adult self) enter the memory to meet her.
Next, we may encounter the situation of not knowing what to say to her. We have grown in chronological age but we could have left her behind. In fact, I’ve observed how emotional it can be when we do inner child work for the first time. It was that way for me too. The great news is that once we start healing, we gain a sense of well-being like never before.
Guidelines for Connecting with Your Inner Child
I’d like to offer some guidelines that hopefully can help you know what to do or expect…
1. Proceed as gently as possible. You want to create a safe space for healing of deeper emotions. Introduce yourself as her from the future, so that she “knows” who you are, for the first time.
2. Always see your inner child as a separate being. You want to avoid re-traumatising yourself.
3. Step into your wise and adult self, as you help your younger self. You want to be able to support and assure her. If you are currently feeling triggered, work on calming yourself first.
6. Treat your inner child with regard, compassion and respect. Acknowledge how she feels but avoid fuelling any drama. Instead of making assumptions about what she want, think or feel, always check with her.
How to Communicate and Connect with Your Inner Child
Connect through your heart to make a connection. In my video, I offer some suggestions on what to say for communication. I also offered the suggestion of applying the words from the Ho’oponopono prayer:
I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.
Click here to learn how to reparent yourself in an online course.
To your well-being,
Evelyn Lim
Reparenting Coach
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