Category Archives for "Self Help"
Tools and techniques for self help
Tools and techniques for self help
“Caregiving requires the intention of love, caretaking requires the intention of fear. Not acting in anger when you are angry requires the intention of love.” Gary Zukav
The intention that you put behind the work or things that you do is important. It can determine how much overall wealth you ultimately enjoy. Hence, in order to redirect your intention appropriately, ask yourself if your focus is centred on: “what can I get out of this transaction or process” or on “how can I best serve others that enhances life itself?”
“What can I get out of this?”
With a thought like this, the focus is the end result. You are being goal-oriented.
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“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.” Denis Waitley
It is the time of the year whereby you may wish to review the vision board that you have made or set some new goals for the next 12 months. Perhaps, you have watched “The Secret” movie or even watched Oprah, who shared about the power of using vision boards to bring forward your dreams.
So are you on the way to manifesting your vision? Or are you still struggling with manifesting the life that you desire?
If you are still struggling, listen to my New Year message about doing things differently this year and starting off with proper visioning work.
“Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.” Lenora Mattingly Weber
As I review my snow skiing experience in the last week, I muse over how the theme of “breakthrough” – one of which I had recently been espousing in my posts – continue to extend even while I was on a holiday vacation.
Standing at the top of the mountain and contemplating the slope downhill was frightening for me. I was in a beautiful ski resort in Alpensia Korea, the venue for the Winter Olympics 2018. It was my second snow skiing trip and I was determined to be able to go down the slope on my own despite my fears.
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“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Soren Kierkegaard
In the book, Multiple Sources of Income, Robert Allen presents 10 sure-fire ways to generating more than $100,000 a year, on a part-time basis and with little or no money. If the topic interests you, then by all means buy his book. However, should my personal experience be anything to go by, allow me to share that some of my best tips in the pursuit of multiple sources of income.
Well, my tips come from having made many unwise decisions in finance, stock trading and buying into “make money quick” schemes. In the last two decades, I have ventured into many opportunities: from investing in Bordeaux wine in a French vineyards, physical gold holdings, foreign exchange, property in the States and elsewhere in the world, and so on. I have also explored a few business models online, only to realise later that they did not work out.
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What is secondary gain?
Secondary gain keeps you in sabotage. You may have a certain goal, desire or dream. However, the existence of a secondary gain obstructs you from taking the necessary steps for goal alignment. The secondary gain is the reason that keeps you stuck. You mistakenly perceive that there is a greater benefit to remaining where you currently are.
Let’s apply that to a money situation. You have the dream of becoming a successful entrepreneur. Yet, you take no action towards the dream. You choose to spend hours playing Candy Crush on Facebook or some other computer game with whatever free time you have. The secondary gain that you derive is the feel-good that you derive from the games.
It becomes difficult for a breakthrough once you are stuck in mindless repetitive activity. You could be in the same state for a very long time. You are aware of how frustrated you feel about not achieving your dream, but could be unconscious to the specific secondary benefit that is preventing you from moving forward.
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Are money woes causing you to react in a way that affects your overall wellness even more?
I have observed some common outcomes that my clients and friends – those with money struggles – report to having. Their money woes might not have started out as something huge – in the big picture of things. Yet, a number of them felt that they “cannot take it”. They experienced emotional reactions that caused them to take on irrational behavior or unwise actions.
Eventually, their behavior and actions made the situation worse. Their money woes soon became bigger. Their problems became a lot harder to deal with.
I lost a dear friend who took his own life. It was money issues that contributed a large part to his depression. Although he was not the reason why I decided to specialize with helping others deal with their money struggles a year on, his encounters certainly gave me a lot of food for thought on how financial triggers could end dramatically.
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“Change is always tough. Even for those who see themselves as agents of change, the process of starting a new thing can cause times of disorientation, uncertainty and insecurity.” Joyce Meyer
Are you in-between jobs or undergoing a career transition?
Or perhaps you have been thinking long and hard about quitting your job and changing line…and yet have not dared take the plunge?
If so, let me guess: you are not having an easy time.
You have been feeling a level of insecurity with a sudden loss in income or the thought of an expected loss in income.
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Your words affects the level of your wealth. It ultimately reflects the way you think and what your mind focuses on.
What we say has a correlation with wealth patterns.
I wanted to understand the correlation more closely and was doing some research when I came across an interesting video based on this topic itself.
Apparently, Behavioral Economist Dr Keith Chen came up with the idea that languages without the concept of a future correlate strongly with high savings rates. Obviously, cultural language forms an important part of our communication and savings is a measure of our net worth and therefore amount of wealth. Futureless languages are those that use the word “will” — “It rain tomorrow,” instead of “It will rain tomorrow” – for instance.
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How you do money is how you do everything. And vice versa.
Financial or money situations offer divine lessons. They are opportunities in disguise. Each presents you a chance for a breakthrough. It is a chance for you to break free yourself from worry, frustration and any limiting belief. The process of alchemy whereby you transmute into your brilliance – free from all fear – offers a holistic path to happiness.
I recall one of my coaches telling me about his vision 2-3 years ago. His vision was to lead a breakthrough life and inspire his students to do the same. When I first heard his vision, I was doubtful. My critical voice protested, “that will be overwhelming and impossible on a daily basis!” Little did I know that I would be encouraging my clients in a similar vein today 🙂
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“Life is indeed full of choices and illusions. What I know today is this: If we do not examine our illusions, they can take us far, far away from our intended path.” Dr Eldon Taylor in Choices and Illusions
Choices and Illusions by Dr Eldon Taylor is a book that will be great for those who wish to understand about how we can change the patterns that would lead us to greater happiness and fulfillment. Its newest revised edition has just been launched. The book was already a New York Times best seller when it was first released.
Well, I was invited to review the latest edition. I had said yes to the invitation, but do note that my post is not a compensated review. I said “yes” because the need to look into beliefs that we unconsciously buy into is something that I highly recommend doing.