How to Spot 10 Warning Signs of Narcissism in Your Partner

Someone with signs of narcissism is described as extremely self-centered. The narcissist is predominantly preoccupied with thoughts of “I, me, myself or mine”. Egoistical, he (or she) strives to be in a superior position. What differentiates narcissism from other forms of behaviour is sadism. The narcissist tends to disparage and belittle others.

Like many other conditions, narcissism occurs in a spectrum. At its most extreme, it is known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This article covers content that pertains to individuals with narcissistic tendencies. For an accurate diagnosis, please consult with a trained mental health professional.

“Unconscious people – and many remain unconscious, trapped in their egos throughout their lives – will quickly tell you who they are: their name, their occupation, their personal history, the shape or state of their body, and whatever else they identify with.” – Eckhart Tolle

I was speaking to a client the other day. Michelle (pseudonym) has been feeling rather battered by her husband. From her descriptions, it appears that her husband is someone who has narcissistic traits. Of course, her sense of self-worth and self-love were not high to begin with.
Continue reading

How to Mend a Broken Heart and Move On

“It’s not hard to move on, it’s just hard to leave behind what you’re not supposed to bring along.” – Unknown

“Maybe it’s not always about trying to fix something that is broken. Maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better.” – Unknown

You are in excruciating pain. Your heart has been broken into a million pieces. As a result, you have been walking around, with a gaping wound. Like a broken recorder, your mind keeps replaying what has recently happened in a mental movie over and over again. It plays one of the following:

– You have been dumped by supposedly “the love of your life”…ouch! Your lover just cited some vague excuse about the two of you being incompatible. You tried to win him or her back but to no avail.
Continue reading

Discover Your 5 Ancient Mirrors of Relationship

“Key #19: Our true beliefs are mirrored in our most intimate relationships.” – Gregg Braden in The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Miracles, Space and Belief

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.” – Ernest Holmes

(Photo taken: Singapore Botanic Gardens)

Our inner world gets mirrored in our outer world. What we truly think ultimately gets mirrored in how our relationships are like. Our true beliefs come from our subconscious – rather than the conscious – mind. And so we may have no conscious awareness that we are holding a certain belief. Hence, to know what our core beliefs are, we just need to investigate how our life has been like.

In Gregg Braden’s The Divine Matrix, he shares about the Five Ancient Mirrors of Relationship. I find an understanding of it helpful when we start to analyze the mirrors of our own lives. According to Coptic, Gnostic and Essene spiritual texts, we are shown a series of mirrors that we will face at some point in our lives. The Five Ancient Mirrors of Relationship are listed in the order that we usually learn them. We recognize the most obvious ones and allow the deeper ones to emerge in time. The Five Ancient Mirrors of Relationship are as follows:
Continue reading

How to Jump-Start a Change in Consciousness

How would you like to jump-start a change in consciousness?

Well, the answer can be found in Gregg Braden’s book, The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles and Belief. In the The Divine Matrix, Gregg Braden lays out 20 keys about the universe. One of the keys is key #16 on how each of us contributes to collective consciousness. I have found it interesting to understand how it only takes a minority to create an impact on the larger population and how it can be measured so precisely.

“Key 16: The minimum number of people required to ‘jump-start’ a change in consciousness is the square root of 1% of a population.”
Continue reading

15 Ways to Live Life Fully

“There are two ways to live: You can live as if everything is a miracle, or you can live as if nothing is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

Do you realize the full potential of life, and of all of its miracles, great and small?

Or do you simply take for granted the wonder that is everywhere, all around you?

The above quote, spoken first by Albert Einstein, speaks to the essence of what it means to live life fully. To miss out on all the wonder will be a pity. It happens when you become caught in the emotional content of your daily dramas, frustrations and pain. You are not able to step aside and appreciate what you already have or what the world has to offer to you.
Continue reading

How to Be The Best That You Can Be

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
– Lao Tze

Could it be that you are your own worst enemy?

Feeling defeated by your own limiting beliefs?

Don’t feel worthy because of the harsh labels that you judge yourself with?

And so, you have the belief statement: I would like to go for my dreams but _____________.

Your buts hold you back.
Continue reading

21 Favorite Law of Attraction Quotes and Sayings

21 Favourite Law of Attraction Quotes and Sayings 

Law of Attraction Quote #1. “Welcome to Planet Earth. There is nothing that you cannot be, or do, or have. You are a magnificent creator.” – Abraham

Continue reading

The Meta Mirror Model: View Life From A New or Higher Perspective

“Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.”
~ Arthur Schopenhauer

(Mount Fuji Japan: Let’s view things from the top)

I have found the Meta-Mirror Model useful in reframing the mind. The Meta-Mirror Model allows you to break down what it means to see things from a higher perspective into practical steps. By going through the steps, it is easier to shift from being ego-centered to one operating from higher consciousness. In the eventual position, you gain a helicopter and macro view of things.
Continue reading

How To Let Go of The Past

Not being able to let go of the past can keep you stuck for years. The suffering of holding on keeps your stories alive. Attachment drives you into heartache. In fact, over time, you could have also gotten used to the suffering. So much so that you may even feel lost at the thought of becoming free from pain.

(Photo: Singapore Botanic Gardens)

It is possible to fear that there will be emptiness when you let go of the past. You are not sure what could be left of you if all the anger, hurt and resentment is gone. After all, you have defined yourself by the stories you believe in. You may think that it is better to cling on the old stories because you fear losing your identity. Well, as I had discovered, this is erroneous thinking.Continue reading

30 Reasons Why You Need to Build Self-Confidence

On a scale of 1-10, how much self confidence would you say that you have? You rate 1 if you have extremely low self-confidence and 10 if you have high self confidence. Avoid putting too much thinking into the rating process, the score should come up intuitively.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”- Norman Vincent Peale

There are many everyday signs of low self confidence. It happens when you have little trust, cannot make decisions on your own and are constantly caught in a sense of helplessness. Invariably, your attitude towards life is poor.

Should your self confidence be low, it shows up in your awkwardness in social settings. You may constantly look at the ground, quiver in anxiety and keep apologising for yourself in front of others. One client who came to see me last week about her low self-confidence kept shaking and shifting her legs nervously for a whole one hour.
Continue reading