A Random Act of Kindness: 15 Ideas To Kickstart Your Intention

Have you come across this phrase “random act of kindness”? What is it? What does it mean to do one?

Here is how Wikipedia definites a random act of kindness….

“A random act of kindness is a purportedly selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases even an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities.”

In 1982, California peace activist Ann Herbert scribbled on a placemat in a restuarant “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” The words left an impression on a fellow diner, who later told the phrase to others. The words inspired much thought and conversation, including the movie “Pay it Forward” in 2000. An international bestseller also helped to catapult this concept .

There is now a World Kindness Movement. I also found out to my surprise, while doing a google search, that many of the meetings by this movement is being held here from Singapore (my country).

Why Bother To Make A Random Act of Kindness

Perhaps, you may be wondering why bother to make your act of kindness Random? Isn’t it enough to be kind to your family members, friends and colleagues or at least, to the people that you come into contact with?

Well, commiting a random act of kindness is a demonstration of the generosity of your spirit. Kindness is an expression of love. It is an abundance concept. It is the thinking that you are full of love for your fellow human kind that you’ve got more to give, even to strangers or people that you don’t really know.

A random act of kindness is a manifestation of an abundance mindset!

Sure, you do have to start with being kind to those nearest to you. However, when you commit an act randomly, maybe anonymously as well, you are extending an energy of love, hope, trust and support to the Universe.

Making a random act of kindness is fulfilling in itself. It provides you the opportunity for expansive awareness, a chance to explore your potential for human divinity. While you may have commited your act to benefit the recipient and not to ask for anything in return, you get untold benefits in terms of joy and purpose that you have served others. Do it often enough, it’s no longer called random; it’s kindness that permeats all levels of your Being.

“Some measure their lives by days and years,
Others by heart throbs, passion and tears;
But the surest measure under the sun,
Is what in your lifetime for others you have done.”
— Ruth Smeltzer

Random Act of Kindness To Dissolve Random Act of Violence

As it is often discussed, random acts of kindness is today’s antitode to random acts of terrorism and violence.

You continue to read in the papers about intricate plots by terrorist groups, bent on crashing or bombing planes killing randomly all on board. These are usually sensational news, perhaps meant to highlight to you the importance about being vigiliant and to treasure peace and security. At the same time, how often do you read of reported cases of random acts of kindness?

If random acts of kindess can be encouraged, they can overshadow acts of senseless killing, bringing about a More Loving World. The threat of terrorism is a dense negative energy that you probably instinctively experience, whenever you come across such news. You feel it in the chill of your spine, thinking about how potentially destructive terrorism can be.

It’s good to be aware that random acts of kindness can dissolve this negative energy, bringing the Universe to much light. Then, maybe, these so-called random acts of kindness will not be occuring at an infrequent time space reality but much as a way of life.

 

How To Make A Random Act of Kindness

It’s more than likely that you’ve ever committed a random act of kindness. To make this a conscious process, simply form an intention to be kind and start with an act today. You may be tempted to think that an act of kindness often involves the giving of money or the buying of gifts. However, it need not necessarily be so.

It can be as simple as sending a card, doing a unsolicated task for those in need or letting others in a hurry to get ahead of you in line.As with everything, the more often you do it, the more it becomes a habit. Your next act can seem small to you but may mean a lot to the recipient!Aesop once said…

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

 

My Random Act of Kindness

Here’s my random act of kindness that I would like to share. I’ve often noticed irate drivers while parking my car in shopping centers during peak hours. Cars will be circling round waiting for a slot.I may have entered the carpark later but more often than not, I would get a slot pretty fast. It helps that I use the three-fingers technique from the Silva Method to “intend” for an empty lot quickly.

If I’m not in a hurry, I may just graciously give it up to a driver of another car, waiting some distance away. I do not focus on the fact that it may take ages for me to find another empty space. Instead, I’ll just wait around and use the Silva Method to “manifest” another free opening for my car!!

The three-fingers technique is a simple technique to learn. Simply put your first three fingers together and program yourself by going into the alpha level and state that it will always be easy for you to find the shortest queue, a free parking space or not having to wait to get tickets.

Each finger apparently represents a subjective energy, desire, belief and expectancy. Together, the three implies faith. Visualisation is key to success for this method. When you next encounter the situation, simply put your three fingers together and visualise the picture of your desired intent. Viola!! You will be surprised by the results.

Well, yesterday was no exception. I was parking my car on a Sunday in a busy mall. A perfect opportunity presented itself for me to commit a random act of kindness.

14 Other Examples For A Random Act of Kindness To Pick From

If you are busted for ideas, here are 14 more examples to kickstart your intention for a random act of kindness:

1. Pay the toll for the person behind you.

This is perhaps the most common example cited. If you’re at a motorway toll booth, pay for the car behind.

2. Donate to a charitable cause.
Turn your papers today to look for a charitable cause to donate to. Forget about the tax break for larger donation sums, even if it is a small amount that you can afford.

3. Send an anonymous card.
Think about someone who deserves to know that he or she is worthy of love or as an acknowledgement of what he or she has done. How often have we been rendered good customer service and a “thank you” is all we give? How about taking it one step further? Send a card. You may not even want to sign off with your name.

4. Deliver a goodie basket made with love.
Bake muffins or cookies and send them to the old folk’s or children’s home.

5. Be kind to your environment.
Avoid littering your environment. Treat your environment with loving care and kindness. While at the beach, pick up the rubbish.

6. Cheer the disspirited.
Grab a bunch of flowers and give it to the cleaner of the toilets in your office building. He or she may be looking somewhat disspirited while slogging away at a less-than glamourous job.

7. Let the person in a hurry behind, go before you.
If you are not in a hurry but notice that the person behind you is, let him or her go first. Here you are showing kindness by giving up your time.

8. Lend a helping hand to a distraught parent.
Kids missing in shopping centers or in public areas occur very often. Parents are often distraught. Offer to help look for these kids.

9. Give up your seat in the public bus to the weary soul.
While it may not take all that much for you to give up your seat in a crowded public bus to the pregnant or the elderly, how about giving up your seat to just any passenger who looks weary or who is carrying a heavy bag?

10. Offer your hand in carrying groceries at the supermarket.
If you notice someone who is struggling with carrying bags of groceries, offer to help lighten their load.

11. Be kind to stray cats or dogs.
The practice of loving kindness should not just extend to your fellow human race. You should also show kindness to animals. If you notice a stray cat or dog, do the right thing and not kick it away!

12. Do a secret act of service.
If you notice a neighbour or a colleague in need of some assistance, how about rendering the help secretly? It can be mowing your neighbour’s untidy lawn or it can be sorting out some files for your colleague. Leave an anonymous card that says “please pay it forward”.

13. Give up your lunch to the needy.
How about skipping your expensive lunch today and donating the money away? Or you can buy lunch and give it to the begger on the street round the corner. Consider having just a salad for yourself instead.

14. Volunteer your help randomly.
Pick randomly a family or someone in crisis. Don’t know where to look? Search your local newspaper for leads. Determine if you can offer in kind or in service.

15. Return Lost Items.
If you’ve picked up a lost item, write a short note with your contact details and place it at the location where you’ve found it.

This list is by no means exhaustive. The idea is to be creative and spontaneous. Be on the prowl over the next few days for an unsuspecting recipient.

“The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”— Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Prize Winner

Love and abundance always,

7 Tips To Surviving Tough Times

Going through tough times? It takes a lot of faith to believe what seems impossible, when life is going rough. From your perspective, you may believe that things are already so bad that they cannot get worse. What unbelievable bad luck, you seem to be tapping into. You may well feel like banging your head against the wall, in frustration and despair. Perhaps, it may be due to a sequence of bad experiences that you have or if you are born with some physical challenges. Somehow, your life just seems a lot more difficult than others.

Well, I’d like to dedicate this post to those of you, who are going through tough times right now and who need a little support. I’ve often been through these episodes myself and what better way, from having pulled myself through countless times, than to share what I’ve learnt on my blog? Hopefully they can help you too. Continue reading

What Is Passion?

(In today’s post, I’ve asked my husband, an ex-fighter pilot with a love for fighter planes, to contribute his views on Passion. He has been the source of my support in asking me to follow my dreams. This is his maiden blog post and written to encourage readers to find their passion)….

What is passion? Why is it important? How does it relate to daily life? How does it relate to abundance? My wife often wonders over these questions. We also realise that many of our friends are not happy in their jobs or work because they basically do not like what they are doing. To which, I often believe, that the root problem lies in not knowing what one’s passion is and/or deciding not to pursue it.

Passion As Described In The Books

According to the dictionary, passion is “An intense desire or enthusiasm about something”.

From books about great company cultures like “Good to Great” by Jim Collins, to books about outstanding individuals like “Success Built to Last” by Jerry Porras and to books about attracting success and abundance like “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra, you can find some common themes. One of them is passion.

In the book “Good to Great”, companies that were passionate about their products seemed to do well. In the book “success built to last”, individuals that overcame adversity had the attribute about being passionate about what they did, that made them persevere, or endure the challenges and pain. In Deepak Chopra’s book, the seventh law is the Law of the Purpose of Life. While this is not exactly passion, my interpretation links passion with purpose of life, in relation to service to humanity, in whatever small ways one can accomplish.

My Burning Passion

The way I would put it, is something that resonates strongly with your being. For me, it was about resonating strongly with flight.

Since I was a little boy, watching jet fighters gave me an intense thrill, an indescribable feeling of excitement, the source of many day dreams. I would read about them, make aircraft models, go and watch airshows.

Even when I had to wear glasses at age 10, I never gave up the dream of becoming a fighter pilot. I read the Bates method of eye exercises and diligently applied it. I was conscious about not straining my eyes and refused to put on glasses especially if I did not need them.

At 18, I tried to join the air force, but could not get in because they still required perfect eyesight. I joined the army instead, went to Sandhurst, and then to London University. It was then that I found out that the eyesight requirements had been relaxed.

I applied again for entry, and finally made it to the air force! I could still remember my happiness, after the many times of having felt disappointment. And the amazing thing was that after I joined the airforce, my eyesight also became perfect!

I ended up flying F16s, commanding a squadron, before I left the airforce. All through this period, I saw the purpose in what I was doing: I was serving to protect my country, my family and friends. With that purpose, I was pretty much inspired to cultivate some of the highest standards in honor, duty, success and teamwork.

Challenges While Holding On To Passion

While I had left my previous job, I had a new wish: to do my own thing. I decided to run my own business and use my expertise and knowledge to become a consultant in the military aviation industry. I was presented the option of flying for a commercial airline but I realised that my passion had never been to be a commercial pilot. Sure, it would have paid the bills and my family would have a comfortable lifestyle but I was never one to work for money alone.

For the first 2 years, after having starting my consultancy business, I sweated and worried about the cash flow. It was a trying period. I worried about competition, about what they were doing, and whether they were saying bad things about me. It was pure agony. Then I read the books mentioned at the beginning of the article, and learnt that I should not worry about the competition, or the money, but to focus on my passion.

I started working on shifting my paradigm. I worked at letting go of my worries, in believing that I had abundance, and to focus on what I enjoy in my work. In relaxing, I found that I became more positive. Although I still had lots to do in terms of working on my mental stresses, I am nonetheless, convinced of the current path I am taking.

My wife would often tell me of her challenges in running her sites, and I would often remind her to follow her passion and to view difficulties from a learning perspective.

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.”

Seeking Out Your Passion

For some years back, my wife would often agonise that she did not know what her passion was. In the process of her discovery, she found out these truths…..

“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”

“The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.” santiz Earl Nightingale quotes

The only way I could describe it is: a passion is what resonates with your being, something you feel good doing, something that you can spend many hours on and still be happy at and something that has a powerful purpose to it.

It may take time to find out what your passion is. Contrary to what many believe, following a passion does not mean that you would necessarily be poor because of it. In fact, when you find meaning in what you do, feeling happy and purposeful, you are already abundant.

A pilot’s business is with the wind, and with the stars, with night, with sand, with the sea. He strives to outwit the forces of nature. He stares with expectancy for the coming of the dawn the way a gardener awaits the coming of spring. He looks forward to port as a promised land, and truth for him is what lives in the stars. — Antoine de Saint Exupéry, “Wind, Sand, and Stars,” 1939

Happy searching!

Cinderella And The Story About Attracting Abundance

Once upon a time, in a magical land far far away, there lived a young maiden, who lived with her stepmother and two ugly stepsisters. They were horrible to her, piling her with loads of housework, making her work near the cinders and eventually calling her “Cinderella”.

Cinderella dreamed of a life of abundance. She dreamed of riches, beautiful gowns and the man who would save her from her wretched life. Nevertheless, every once in a while, she could not help but focused on her rags, her miserable room in the attic and her lack to abundance. She could not help feeling envious about the pretty dresses and the magnificent finery that her stepsisters wore.

Continue reading

How To Measure Success

(Photo Source: Webshots.com – Success is not found in a gold medal but in the exhilaration of conquering the waves)

Many of us take success to mean a measurable achievement in terms of money, career or physical possessions. We look up to those who are rich and successful. We see success as an end goal. We mistakenly believe that the more possessions we have, the more secure we will feel.

In our efforts to continually become more successful, in our efforts to reach the pie in the sky, we often find that we lose sight of what is important around us and what is the here and now.

“The standard of success in life is not the money or the stuff – the standard of success is absolutely the amount of joy you feel”. – Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Failure To Experience Joy

Many of us fail to see that we can be very joyful this present moment. Instead, our minds prefer to focus on the problems that we have or the fact that we are far from reaching our goals We feel miserable, choosing to wallow in self-pity and despair.

Many of our desires are like that. They start from some discomfort or a feeling that we are lacking in some areas. We then begin to search for the things that can fill the void. We then decide that we need to have these things to be considered a success.

If we succeed in getting what we want, the desire or hunger dissipates. Sometimes, we may even cheated for what we have attained has not brought us the level of satisfaction that we first anticipated. And so, we develop a new set of higher desires and goals. It is a never ending goal.

Live Fully While Getting There

Indeed, the message here is not about holding back your natural desires of wanting to improve your situation in life or asking you not to continually challenge yourself in self improvement. What is more crucial is to not to forget to enjoy yourself on the journey, even while trying to get there. It is still important to have a direction, an aim, but what you should not forget is to live fully right now.

In having a single-minded focus to reach a narrowly defined goal of success, you may find that you are missing out on much happiness. Half of your life may have already flown by. In the first half, you may have already missed out on many family birthdays, time to bond with your kids while they were young, and loving moments spent with your spouse. What, then, will become of the other half?

“Success is about a happy life and a happy life is just a string of moments. But most people do not allow the happy moments because they are so busy trying to get a happy life.” Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

See Success In Every Moment

It’s time to reach a new level of awareness. Success is not measured by the end goal but the anticipation and excitement that arise in its unfolding. To have reached success, as I know it now, is to see Success in Every Moment: The Letting Go of Our Egos, The Laughter in Our Children, A Reciprocal Act of Loving Kindness By Our Spouse and Friends, The Expansion of Our Hearts to all Living Things, and The Opening of Our Minds to Infinite Possibilities.

"To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one’s self; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived — This is to have succeeded." Ralph Waldo Emerson

What Is Wealth Consciousness?

It is important to realise that wealth consciousness is a mindset. Wealth is not money, although having some money is part of having wealth. On the other hand, wealth is more than money. It is definitely more than the 5Cs (Cash, Car, Condominium, Credit Card and Country Club Membership) as described in my previous post.

“The first step to having wealth is to know what it is. And few people know what it really is, in and of itself. What is wealth? What causes it? What causes the cause of it? Let us start with money, the world’s symbol of wealth, and then move deeper. Money is not real.”
~ David Cameron Gikandi, “A Happy Pocket Full of Money”

Unfortunately, most of us, without knowing any better, see wealth only in the physical and superficial sense. Our egos have us believe that the amount of physical possessions we have define who we are (“Your Sacred Self” by Dr Wayne W Dyer). Hence, we mistakenly believe that the more we have materially, the bigger our egos will be and accordingly, the closer we are to happiness. In reality, money is nothing than more than a symbol to the true essence of wealth.

So what is wealth then? Wealth is all the things of meaning, all the beauty, all the abundance that exists in the world around you. If you think of wealth in terms of money, then you will need to believe that there is plenty of money to go around and you have a share in that, too. To be conscious of all the abundance that is available to everyone, to be aware that there is plenty of money for everyone, is to have wealth consciousness.

If your state of mind is attuned to abundance or wealth, it will soon become manifest. If your state of mind is attuned to lack of money or lack of whatever, that lack will also become manifest. To create that state of mind that is inflexibly attuned to abundance or wealth is to create wealth consciousness.

When you have an active wealth consciousness, you no longer dwell on losing what you may have. In effect, you do not allow fear of uncertainty to infiltrate your consciousness. You don’t want fear around; you have to let it go away, because you will never be free until you break the fetters of fear. Remember, what you think about and focus your attention on will expand in your consciousness and eventually exclude all else, so it is best not to focus on lack but on what you do have.

“Look, instead, at the value within you and within people, and the flowing and exchanging of this value between people. Our internal value, is what creates money. Money is the shadow of our internal value. Develop this internal value in yourself and in others and your external money and wealth will correspondingly rise automatically, without fail.” ~ David Cameron Gikandi, “A Happy Pocket Full of Money”

When nothing else concerns you except what more you need, nothing can satisfy you and that truly will make you poor and needy. But when you rid yourself of worry and poverty consciousness, you leave yourself open for a new consciousness to come in and take root. By freeing your mind of all attachment, you unclog the channel through which will flow all the abundance and wealth that comes from the infinite. You will have created Wealth Consciousness.

Can Money Buy Happiness?

Can money buy you happiness? Does the following equation hold true?

Not quite. It sure can make your life easier but true happiness, as often has been mentioned on this blog, is the state of your mind. In fact, what usually happens is more like the other way around: if you are rich and happy from the inside, you will then be able to attract more money on the outside.

Money can be viewed from an energy standpoint. According to the Law of Attraction, the energy of money is the flow of physical abundance that the Universe provides to you. Hence, to bring it into a vibrational high to match what it is that you desire, then you will need to focus your mind on more positive thoughts when you think about money.

“Money is not the root of happiness, but it is not the root of evil either. Money is the result of how somebody lines up Energy.” — Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

However, many of us fall into the trap of becoming unhappy when we think about money. We feel miserable in the state of wanting and become depressed when our mind chooses to focus on the current situation of not yet enough. We also lack spirituality, because we would rather spend our time and energy on pursuing materalistic intents and do not realise that money is in itself a spiritual asset.

“We must all realize that nothing is separate and apart from God, that money is spiritual substance made manifest, the creative energy of the Spirit stepped down into visibility.” —Empowerment – You Can Do, Be, Have All Things by John Randolph Price

To avoid the trap of an overly materialistic mind, it is better to get in touch with who we really are. Spend time exploring the spirtual side of things. Ask for guidance for what it is that is our purpose. We can also find that it is not the bed, books, finery, house, medicine, luxuries (as in the poem above) that we truly want but what goes deeper, such as happiness, knowledge and salvation.

There is no need to also deny what is instinctive in us; that is the desire to be in an improved situation. What we need to recognise is that money is the flow of energy that helps to bring about the deeper desire. It is the means to support a higher purpose and not an end on its own. When we lend spirituality to what it is we desire, then we are really in the state of body-mind-spirit balance that can bring about just about any thought into manifestation.

“Spiritual versus material are not the choices. Everything about this physical, manifestational experience is spirital. It is all the end product of Spirit.” — Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

When we can see the point that money is a physical extension of who we really are, we can then know what we need to do (which is to really begin with ourselves). We can also start to savor happiness in its purest form; happiness is that which brings abundance, including money, into physical manifestation. See the diagram below, for a 2-dimensional illustration.

Bitten by the creative bug, here’s a video that I’ve just published, using a poem by an unknown author, that I came across from a dharma book….

Poem: What Money Can Buy

A bed but not sleep
Books but not knowledge
Food but not appetitie
Finery but not beauty
A house but not a home
Medicine but not health
Luxuries but not comfort
Pleasures but not happiness
Religion but not salvation.

Say not that this is yours and that is mine,
Just say, this came to you and to me;
So we may not regret the fading shine
Of all glorious things which ceased to be.

The Fragility of Life

Chinese New Year lasts for 15 days but Kay did not see it to the last. (Read my previous post here.) He just passed away at 4pm today. My husband and I did what we could to help him in terms of distance healing but I guess it was not to be. In the last one week, we even got hold of a monk, who spent 17 years of his life meditating in the deep forest of Thailand, to do some energy healing on Kay. Alas…Kay had already gone through 11 sessions of chemotherapy by the time we learnt about his cancer slightly more than a week ago and any help in energy healing, according to the monk, is at best limited.

This is the second death that I am encountering these few days. An uncle of mine passed away 2 days ago, his funeral is today. He died due to complications in the liver, at the age of 50+. Still a good many years to go, if not for having gotten ill.

I might have not been close to Kay and my uncle, but their passing away puts me in a contemplative mood about the fragility of life. As it is often said, the only thing that is certain in life is death. We must therefore, cherish the good things we are enjoying and live life to the fullest.

Kay was only 43 (same age as my husband) when he passed away. He might have had a lot of things that he was looking forward to; but from what I knew, he was already in a career that he loved and had a fulfilling relationship with his wife.

I also started thinking about my life, as I am writing this post. Boy am I glad to have the chance to take stock of mine sometime last year. Without which, I would not have gone on to intensive therapy in emotional self healing and to doing meditation everyday. I would not have looked at life so differently from what I have been seeing all these years. In deep appreciation for my family and abundance is where I am everyday now. I would also not have realised that I could potentially be putting my writing skills to good use by sharing my own experience and inspiring others to take charge of their lives, through this blog.

Incidentally, I’m in the midst of selling away two of my money making sites, so that I can focus more of my energies in my own personal development. I’ve got my doubts sometimes about running and writing for this self help site; not sure if it is going to have an audience of readers or if it is going to generate traffic. But my new dream and purpose is keeping me alive and I have decided to give it a go, come what may.

So to all you out there, who’s daring to make a change. Here’s one saying to remind you to love and live life….

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
— Ashley Smith

To all those who have helped sent positive loving energy for Kay, as a result of my previous post, the above flower image, with a saying from one of the sutras, is something I did for you. I’ve felt touched by your kindness and love to a stranger. On behalf of Kay and myself, I thank you…..

“If you touch one thing with deep awareness, you touch everything.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh

12 Tips On How To Be Happy

How to be happy, may sound pretty much common sense, but it is not as easy as it sounds. If it is, there will be not so many desperate cases out there. Just think about the tens and thousands of people who take anti-depressants. Or think about the increasing number of divorce cases and the public spates that can ensue. Think Britney Spears. With all the wealth that she has, you would think that she is happy. Apparently not.

Closer to home, what about the constant worry that you going through? Or that you are unhappy with your current situation, because you have not attained what you want? You may not even have realized that with your desires, you are really looking for happiness. And your wanting state, coupled with your focus on lack, is not something that you enjoy waking up to everyday.

Let’s put things into perspective here a little more. For instance, you say that you want more wealth. But it is likely that you are really hankering for the freedom that comes with having more options in life. In essence, you are searching for things that can bring about happiness.

“Behind Every Desire Is The Desire To Feel Good” Quote taken from “Ask and It is Given‚ Learning To Manifest Your Dreams” by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Material wealth is just an illusion. It cannot on its own bring you true happiness. True happiness can only come from within.

I have been searching for the answers to the question on How to be Happy for some time. Here is a list of 12 tips of what I have gathered, after pouring through books, talking to people, attending workshops and retreats:

1. Live In The Moment. How to be happy starts when you live in the moment. You do not worry about the future; neither do you complain about what is past. You see things as they are. When you live in the moment, you focus on the present. The most important moment is the here and the Now.

“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry & all forms of fear are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” — Eckhart Tolle from “The Power of Now”

2. Learn To Let Go. To live in the moment, you must let go of your negative thoughts and beliefs. How can you ever be happy if you hold on so tightly to thoughts that have not served you well? Letting go has several aspects to it – letting go of past hurts; letting go of things that are beyond your control; letting go of your negative emotions; and letting go of your attachments to your desires.

“When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize what you were dragging around with you. And for that, no one else other than you was responsible.” — Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Indian Spiritual Leader, 1931-1990)

3. Love Yourself. If you suffer from low self esteem, you can find that it is hard to feel happy. To improve your sense of self worth means that you have start with loving yourself first Unconditionally. You cannot have a meaningful relationship with others, when you do not have one with yourself.

“Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.” — Fulton J. Sheen

4. Find Your Purpose. You need to find a purpose, for which you live for. When you have a purpose, life is more meaningful. You also tend to take actions which serve this purpose.

“Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” — Helen Keller

5. Build Interests or Find Your Passion. Your passion may make up your purpose but it need not be. You can also have a number of passions or interests. For instance, you can be passionate about sports, art, fishing or scrapbook making.

6. Build A Happy Home. From the self, the relationships that you need to spend time in cultivating are the ones with your family. Make an effort to build a happy home. To have well adjusted kids, there also must be a pair of happy parents to begin with.

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” — Thomas Jefferson

7. Smile Often; Laugh Wholeheartedly. Make it a point to be happy. Happiness is a choice. Remind yourself to put on a smile everyday by choosing to think happy thoughts. You may find it difficult at first but as time goes on, a smile on your face can feel like the most natural thing in the world. Forget what the fashion magazines say about frown lines when you smile. You do not need any additional make up when you can have a smile that lights up your entire face!

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. — Thich Nhat Hanh

Also, it is often said that laughter is the best medicine. Learn to see the humorous side of things, even when you are facing a challenge.

8. Connect With Happy People. Mix and mingle with happy people. Negativity attracts negativity while happiness will attract happiness. If you have friends who are negative and you find yourself being affected by their negative thinking, then consider reducing your interactions with them. It is important to surround yourself with happy and joyful people to feel happy.

9. Be Healthy. Eat well, exercise regularly and you will automatically feel better. Leading an unhealthy life can have a bad effect on your mood and you will not have energy or feel alive. So eat healthy and be happy!

10. Always Be Looking Up. Rather that feeling sorry for yourself, try and look for a solution to your problem. Happy people never buckle under pressure. Adversities make them stronger.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an opportunist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” — Winston Churchill

12. Take Responsibility. Do not allow others to make your decisions for you. Take responsibility by seeking information on how best you can make a decision for yourself.

If you are being pressured into doing something that you truly do not want to do, politely decline the offer. You need to take charge in all the important aspects of your own life and that includes happiness!

12. Serve Others. You must give in order to receive. I’ve also come to the conclusion that we are all here on this earth, to serve others in one way or another. It is a Universal law, in the flow of energy. Energy needs to circulate. Love needs to circulate. If you find that you have not been happy for the longest time, you may have blocked the free flow of abundance that is available by resisting it. To allow more happiness in, send more happiness out.

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” —Albert Schweitzer

To be happy, you need to change your attitude and how you perceive things. Let your emotions be your guide. If an activity makes you feel good, choose to do more of the same. With enough frequency, you will soon find yourself becoming net-positive than net-negative in your emotions and thoughts.

What is Holding You Back From Living Your Passion

The few days of public holidays of Chinese New Year are finally over. After days of waking up late, I initially found it a drag to have to get up early this morning to send Min, my younger daughter to preschool. However, any feeling of exhaustion soon dissipated as my car picked up speed from the dark underground car park and into the open. Outside, the day was promising to look glorious, with the sun already up.

I thought how lucky I was. After dropping her off, I could get back to bed. Afterall, my husband was finally sleeping, from battling migraine the entire night. But as it is, I did not choose sleep. Instead I am here now at my PC checking my emails and typing my thoughts.

I realize that often times, no matter how tired I feel, I will be at my desk, publishing content for my readers or looking for ways to generate more awareness about my sites. My work attitude has not always been this way. I was seldom that motivated when I was working in the bank. While I liked my previous job, I was not burning with passion over it.

Most people by now will have gone to work right now, spending the next 8 to 10 hours in the office. But I truly wonder how many are going to a job that they are passionate about. I know for a fact that many of my friends, in their various professions, are not happy in their jobs. A couple of them could not stop complaining about their bosses, their high sales target that they are supposed to achieve or the constant business trips they have to make. Despite their complaints, they continue to put in a good many hours working late and not having enough time with their kids. What perhaps is deterring them from resigning is the huge paycheck that they are receiving. Their designer handbags, shiny cars and big homes say it all!

I guess the absolute best thing that I can wish for them is that they say “I love my job”. Then, work is no longer merely just a job but something that is fun, engaging and challenging.

Admittedly, many people prefer to delay their dreams. They choose to pursue them only in the later part of their life. However, having made such a choice, they wonder in their old age where have all the good years gone to.

What’s Holding You Back?

Are you in the same boat “in a job that you absolutely have no love for” and are not daring to make a change? If you don’t love what you do, what’s holding you back? What is stopping you from moving to something that you will love doing?

Your reason is probably not uncommon: too old to make a change, need to make more money before feeling ready to make a change, find it hard to give up current lifestyle to start a new business, prefer to get promoted in this lousy career than to start from scratch, etc.

If you find that you continually have pangs of indecision, even though you have thought it through for the umpteenth time and decided to stay in a job that you do not love, this can only mean that you have not fully “accepted” your decision. You continue to feel miserable. There is no passion. Your customers irk you. And you swear that your boss has a hidden agenda by making things difficult for you.

Then, it is time to ask yourself if you want to remain in a job that provides no meaning to you.

Or make it Right from now.

Start living.

Here is a quote by Alan Cohen I would like to leave you with, for your consideration.

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.