Category Archives for "Conscious Living"
Meaning of Conscious Living
How Reparenting Helps to Address Your Insecure Attachment Style
If you have an insecure attachment style, you can potentially benefit from doing some reparenting work. Insecure attachment affects those in their ability to form healthy relationships, make decisions and/or to cope emotionally. On the other hand, reparenting yourself helps you to heal your inner child, gain trust and maintain emotional stability. Thus, you enhance your ability to cultivate close relationships, boost confidence and enhance overall well-being.
Attachment styles first came from the work of John Bowlby, a psychologist. He first proposed Attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s. Attachment theory helps us to find out more about the nurturing that was experienced during the initial years of our life and how it affects us today.
Bowlby’s view is that the bond between mother and child is most important of all. The first formative 18 months is very crucial in the child’s development. Where there is adequate nurturing, the child grows up to be a secure adult. Conversely, the absence of adequate nurturing leads to insecure attachment and the forming of invisible emotional wounds that often results in maladjustments in the emotional, social and cognitive development of the child.
Reparenting Yourself: What Does It Mean and How to Get Started
What does reparenting yourself mean?
Reparenting yourself simply means healing your inner child and giving your inner child the love and the guidance and support that you didn’t receive when you were young, in the present.
[Update] Check out my new online course on How to Reparent Yourself.
How to Connect with Your Inner Child using S.H.I.F.T.
You may be wondering about how you can connect with your inner child. For a start, you may even have some doubts about the idea of having a wounded inner child. After all, it is not like the inner child is a being that you can actually see or hear externally. Let alone one that is wounded. How, then, do you connect with your inner child, if you are interested to heal aspects about your childhood?
Well….it is true that you can’t actually see your inner child with your naked eye. It may even feel like you are playing pretend when you close your eyes and attempt to see your inner child. Yet, just because you can’t see something with opened eyes does not mean that it does not exist. For example, just because you can’t see electricity does not mean that it is not working in the background when you turn the lamp on.
How to Shift from a Scarcity into an Abundance Mindset
Steven Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first coined the terms of a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. Scarcity mindset refers to the paradigm of looking at life as finite, as if there is a limited number of pieces in a pie. On the other hand, an abundance mindset refers to the paradigm where there is enough and there is plenty for everyone.
Here’s how Stephen Covey describes the Scarcity Mindset…
Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.
The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. The also have a a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.
How You Can Schedule Healthy Money Dates into Your Calendar
A money date is one where you are working on your finances; whether on your own, with your partner or team. It is one where you specify a day and time on your calendar for a money-related activity that is meant to help you consolidate, improve and/or strengthen your personal or joint financial position. It may be that you need to work on
- budgeting for a trip,
- creating a spreadsheet to monitor expenses,
- discussing with your partner on financial options,
- reviewing your earnings,
- finding better ways to minimise tax,
- paying down your loans,
- moving of investment funds between accounts,
- getting updated advice from your financial planner,
- create a financial plan to help you manifest the lifestyle that you want etc.
By scheduling money dates on a regular basis, you are better able to identify gaps, opportunities and ideas instead of making any personal financial activity as a once-a-year event.
How to Deal with Emotional Overwhelm When It Feels Too Much
Going through a tough period?
Finding it hard to deal with emotional overwhelm?
Perhaps, you are at a loss about what to do with the flood of feelings that are coming up.
A client once described her experience as being in a washing machine, with the flood of emotions spinning round and round and unable to stop. And it happens to the best of us. Whatever the trigger is, it may be that you are feeling angry or sad, all at once. Or that you are feeling torn.
You just can’t make out what to think or how to go about solving your problems. No wonder you struggle to fall asleep. Well, if you have been feeling struggling, I would like to invite you to create a safe space for yourself.
Instead of being in a rush to repress or deny what you are going through, give yourself some time to process your feelings.
Start by putting your hands over your heart and center your breathing.
Be in a safe non-judgmental space as you work through this.
4 Money Healing Stories: Letting Go of the Past
Would you like to be inspired by money healing stories?
Well, I’d like to share some that belonged to my clients. I have had the privilege of helping them attain a mindset breakthrough that resulted in a change in their finances. For a long time, they were struggling with limiting beliefs that blocked the flow of money and their ability to generate better income. Most carried emotional money wounds that stemmed from the past.
Their money healing stories are transformative. They had to confront their fears and release their attachment to beliefs formed since young. I’m thankful to my clients for giving me a firsthand chance to learn about how it is possible to rewrite our stories for healing and greater empowerment. To protect their privacy, I have used pen names for them.
No matter how much effort she put in, Annie couldn’t seem to break through her glass income ceiling for her business. She’s constantly having money worries and that she’d never have enough. While we were working together, Annie experienced an “aha” moment. She suddenly realised how her unconscious limit in earnings came about.
Her dad had struggled to make a living when she was young. Unfortunately, Annie internalised some of the messages he had shared with her about his money troubles. During our session, she “saw” the amount that was written on the cheques he had been banking in from his job. To her surprise, it was the same amount that she has been earning for a long time from her business.
Annie worked on letting go of her glass ceiling. She gave herself the permission to make more than her dad. Annie no longer limits herself on what she can earn. As a result of her inner work, she has been generating income breakthroughs ever since. Annie found herself attracting bigger and bigger deals for her business.
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How to Heal Your Emotional Money Wounds
When it comes to healing money wounds, there are two important considerations:
1. Healing needs to involve the emotional layer.
2. Healing of money wounds is best resolved at root cause.
Let me explain more.
1. Healing Emotionally
The money behaviour or situation that you are in is influenced by what’s going on internally – your thoughts and feelings.
For some people, any talk about money tends to conjure plenty of negative feelings.
Feelings such as worry, frustration, sadness, anger and so on.
However, when emotions run high, they create a block or disrupt our energy system.
Our clarity and ability to process thoughts get reduced and we also find ourselves less able to take the necessary action that will help us improve our financial position.
Unfortunately, a block in our ability to manifest financial abundance can also impact our business or to get a job with a pay that we deserve.
Build Emotional Mastery: What is Emotional Labeling and Differentiation
Would like to build emotional mastery?
Interested to boost your emotional well-being, so that you can be a lot more resilient in the face of difficulties?
For a start, find out how emotional mastery can be attained through emotional labeling and differentiation of feelings.
For those of us who have repressed our feelings for a long time, emotional labeling and differentiation can be a difficult thing to do. Emotional labeling refers to identifying our emotions and emotional differentiation refers to naming our emotions with specificity and granularity. Both can be difficult to do because we’ve rarely had the chance to process our feelings. Since building emotional mastery or resilience has never been quite emphasised when we were young, it is no wonder that we have had little idea why it matters.
To understand why emotional labelling and differentiation helps, refer to the following scenario: Husband comes back from work, looking drained. Wife notices and asks him about his day. He responds by saying that he is feeling stressed. Wife simply accepts that her husband has had a difficult day, without realising that “stress” can mean a lot of things.
10 Tips for Conscious Reparenting of Your Inner Child
Do you often wish that you had received adequate love, guidance, support from your mum or dad when you were young?
It could be that you’re now realising that part of the challenging issues you have today are related to your childhood. Perhaps you have experienced emotional neglect in the past. You find yourself still longing for love and assurance even today.
This is not to blame any of your parents. After all, they parented you in the only way they knew how. They could have been brought up in the same or similar ways themselves. Yet, what remains is that your younger self or inner child still feels the need to have that love and acceptance.
Well, it is not too late. You can help yourself by addressing these needs in the now. Addressing unresolved needs helps you to build emotional resilience, strengthen self-confidence and esteem, and to undertake personal responsibility.
With all that you know now, with the higher consciousness that you are, you can offer parenting love, warmth and guidance to your inner child. Continue reading