When we clear unfinished business, we are better able to reset our energy system or even rebooting it – so that we can invite in new possibilities.
What does it mean to clear unfinished business?
Clearing unfinished business involves letting go of old attachments, meeting unfulfilled promises, and honouring what we said that we would do. We work on clearing unfinished business because these outstanding items can create a drag in our energy system and can potentially be a stopper for starting things on a clean slate.
In terms of agreements, these could be contractual ones that we have made with an external body; such as getting into a housing loan agreement. Or they could be simply promises that we have made to our loved ones and even ourselves. Examples include
making a commitment for fidelity
saying “yes” to accompanying our partners for an engagement (even though we are not that interested and prefer to stay home)
offering to help out a friend
returning a small debt owed to our parents or relatives
agreeing to pay our share for a split restaurant bill
doing our share of household chores etc
It’s easy to forget the “smaller” promises that we have made but over time, these could add up and weigh on us. We repel abundance when we consistently don’t honour what we said we would do. Our promises don’t count if we have no intention of following through.
Unfinished business also can include grievances, hurts and conflicts that have been left unresolved. These create emotional debris. Even though we may not be conscious of them all the time, they take up space in our energetic system.
Learn more about Clearing Unfinished Business Below
Positive Outcomes from Clearing Unfinished Business
There are benefits to clearing up unfinished business as quickly as possible. We wouldn’t want to wait till we are on our deathbed to recall the promises that we’ve not yet kept. It certainly doesn’t serve us to hold on to any outstanding item year after year.
We even up any score that is left hanging at the back of our subconscious minds when we work on meeting our obligations. At the same time, we also prevent self-sabotage from taking place. In the physical dimension, we follow through with clear intent and action. We are in congruence – body, mind and spirit.
Our relationship with money improves. Not forgetting, many contracts and agreements involve money. When we keep to the terms of our agreement, we are in integrity. As a result we raise our energetic frequency that brings about more expansiveness, which also supports our ability to attract abundance.
Relationships with our partners also improve where we honour the promises that we make. Trust increases. We feel more grounded and secure in relationships where both parties keep to their word.
By releasing old attachments to the past, we create space for new relationships or to rejuvenate existing ones. Clearing unfinished business may require us to cut cords with negative or toxic people in our lives, let go of old grievances, practice forgiveness and move on to creating new and more fulfilling relationships.
What To Do Next: Create a List of Outstanding Items for Unfinished Business
Here are some reflection questions for you…
What are the promises that you have made to yourself or others that you haven’t quite met?
Are there any contracts or agreements that you have said “yes” to but there are remaining terms that you have not quite followed through on?
Any outstanding debts or loans to attend to? How is your plan to meet your obligations like?
Any old relationship ties that you need to say good-bye to?
Any grievances or grudges to resolve?
What past emotional baggage does it serve your highest interest to let go of?
Once you’ve created a list, prioritise the items according to how much lighter and freer you are going to feel as a result of clearing it. Create an action plan for working through the list and also specifying dates and timelines. Check off your list as you complete the items.
Clearing unfinished business is one of the modules in my course on Changing Your Relationship with Money. Alternatively, apply for a discovery call if you need personal help to work on clearing unfinished business.
Create more energetic space to invite in the new!
Love and abundance always, Evelyn Abundance Coach for Women Solopreneurs
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I was helping a client (let’s call her Nellie, not her real name) clarify the ideal client that she’d like to work with, when we discovered that she was having some limiting money blocks about people who are wealthy.
Nellie’s line of work requires her to service the needs of wealthy individuals or at least people with excess funds. If she releases her subconscious blocks, client attraction can potentially happen with greater ease. It will certainly help Nellie to have more clients as the extra income that she gets can go a long way to supporting her family with two young kids. Since her beliefs could be in the way for client attraction and business sales, we proceeded to work on releasing the limiting money blocks.
Childhood Situation that Created Limiting Money Blocks
When I asked Nellie what some of her discomfort was reminding her of, she recalled two childhood incidents when she was 11 years old that had left her feeling lousy, disgusted and ashamed.
Emotional bypassing happens when we don’t allow ourselves to fully process our negative feelings. Instead, we sweep them under the carpet or we gloss over them by “willing” the mind to think positively. Say, something traumatic happens to us. We don’t face it because we fear feeling worse off. Thus, instead of grieving or upset, we simply put on a brave front and pretend that all is fine.
In another instance, we guilt-trip ourselves for feeling negative when we ought to be grateful. We believe that we have no right to complain about feeling poorly where someone else is at a more disadvantaged situation. And so we stuff our feelings inside.
Emotional bypassing is often referred to as spiritually bypassing. It was the late psychologist John Welwood who coined the term spiritual bypassing to describe what he saw in a Buddhist community. He describes it as the “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.” In the practice of non-attachment, many Buddhists deny what they truly feel.
When you are caught in anxiety, do you observe an unsettling or discomforting feeling in the stomach?
Well, anxiety and the stomach are said to be connected. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, anxiety gets stored in the spleen/stomach/pancreas network. In this article, I’d like to bring focus to the link between anxiety and stomach issues.
First of all, while I sometimes use the words anxiety and worry interchangeably, let’s also understand that there is a difference according to psychologists.
One way for boosting mental and spiritual health is the Top of the Head or the “Bai-hui” meridian point. The point sits on the crown of our head. The literal Chinese-to-English translation of “Bai-hui” means“the meeting place of the hundreds”.Aptly, it is where all the energies of our body converge and meet.
In TCM, it is often said that “heaven, earth and man are the three powers”. The top of our head is where our human body connects with heaven. It is where the gateway to spirituality resides and and where a lotus flower blossoms in the wake of rising consciousness ((visualise a slow-motion video with the petals unfolding).
The “Bai-hui” meridian point is also the meeting point of all the Yang energy in the body. TCM practitioners use this acupointincases ofneurological and psychological diseases. By activating this point, it promotes relaxation and mental focus.
Felicia (not her real name) and I had worked together on releasing her fear of abandonment.
If we find ourselves getting angry, frustrated, anxious or upset easily, we may want to ask ourselves why we are triggered. Some of us would get badly triggered when we perceive that we have been abandoned or rejected even though in reality, it may not be necessarily true. However, this can hurt our relationships, work life and well-being. It was exactly what had happened to Felicia.
We tend to pay little regard to any form of emotional neglect that we’ve experienced as a child. After all, it is not as if that we had faced a real survival threat. Nor were we physically abandoned or abused either. So it would seem unthinkable to even imagine that there can be any sort of trauma related to emotional neglect.
Therein lies where the problem is.
Because it did not cross our minds that a lack of self-esteem or our struggles with anxiety and mental health could be contributed by the emotional neglect that we had experienced when we were young, we don’t seek help or therapy for our issues. In fact, we usually perceive that seeking help from professionals as only warranted for major traumas. Sure, problems caused by emotional neglect may be less serious than say, a case of torture or abuse. However, emotional neglect can also cause problematic wounds when we bury them deep in our psyche.
So, here’s what I eventually discovered…
Emotional neglect can inflict invisible wounds, even in the absence of any physical signs of abuse.
In a workshop I attended more than 10 years ago, there was a spoon bending exercise that I can still recall today. I’m updating this post with photos of the spoons that I have kept on my desk.
During the exercise, we were handed some metal spoons and asked to bend them – not by using the hands but by the power of our minds.
Nancy, the facilitator, offered this advice, “Be One with The Spoon”.
“Sounds like mambo jumbo,” I could hear my skeptic saying.
How do you BE One with a Spoon, for crying out loud???
The weekend had culminated with an exercise that required us to bend a metal spoon, not by brute force but by the mental focus of thought. Nancy shared that we, be it spoon or human, are made up of energy. Therefore, instead of viewing ourselves as separate from another matter, we are One. Through the awareness that we are One, it was suggested that we could alter the appearance of the metal spoon.
According to psychologists, every adult has an inner child.
Your wounded inner child is that part of you that never grew up, even though you are now an adult. She may be your younger self as a newborn or a 6 year old. If she is wounded, it means that she has been holding on to hurt, disappointment, pain or any negative emotions, and her needs have not been met.
If the needs of your inner child remain unresolved, it can potentially affect your mental well-being and relationships. Thus, inner child healing is a crucial part to deep psychological work. It involves the spiritual process of reconnecting to the wounded elements of your inner child.
Here are 7 indicative signs that you need self-love healing which involves “meeting” your inner child…
