How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds When You Can’t Turn Back the Clock

Some of us may be resistant to the idea of having to heal childhood wounds. That is because we don’t like having to revisit the past in our memory. We fear that we would relive the pain and that we would traumatise ourselves all over again. 

Even more so, we wish that the past did not happen. For sure, if not for the past, we would have suffered less all these years and we wouldn’t have felt so lost, alone and confused. More importantly, we wouldn’t be unconsciously having an inner child that is bent on sabotaging our present. 

Perhaps, just like how movies portray, we dearly wish that there can be a time machine that can take us back. We would like to have the power to change things right from the start, instead of having to do repair or healing work. If we can change history, a time machine would certainly help. 

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How to Practice Loving Self-Acceptance

Practising loving self-acceptance is not something that may come naturally. In fact, it could be a key life lesson that some of us. You may find yourself attracting various experiences that involve this important aspect of what it means to embrace yourself totally.

Many of us long to be accepted for who we are. And so, we go about seeking validation and approval from others. However, the crux is that if we cannot accept ourselves, we cannot expect others to accept us too. Without any self-acceptance, we live in constant fear of being rejected.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain

I find it great to learn from movies too.  One of the movies that I watched with my children was Wreck-it Ralph show. Initially, I had found the plot rather slow moving. And so I was not paying full attention to it. But as the movie wore on, I discovered that there were valuable lessons on self-acceptance.
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Reparenting Yourself: What Does It Mean and How to Get Started

What does reparenting yourself mean?

Reparenting yourself simply means healing your inner child and giving your inner child the love and the guidance and support that you didn’t receive when you were young, in the present. 

[Update] Check out my new online course on How to Reparent Yourself. 

10 Tips for Conscious Reparenting of Your Inner Child

Do you often wish that you had received adequate love, guidance, support from your mum or dad when you were young?

It could be that you’re now realising that part of the challenging issues you have today are related to your childhood. Perhaps you have experienced emotional neglect in the past. You find yourself still longing for love and assurance even today.

This is not to blame any of your parents. After all, they parented you in the only way they knew how. They could have been brought up in the same or similar ways themselves. Yet, what remains is that your younger self or inner child still feels the need to have that love and acceptance. 

Well, it is not too late. You can help yourself by addressing these needs in the now. Addressing unresolved needs helps you to build emotional resilience, strengthen self-confidence and esteem, and to undertake personal responsibility.

With all that you know now, with the higher consciousness that you are, you can offer parenting love, warmth and guidance to your inner child. Continue reading

How to Heal Your Invisible Childhood Wounds

We may not realise at first that we have been carrying childhood wounds, so any talk about healing will be considered moot.

Childhood wounds are, after all, invisible to us.

And if we can’t see them through our naked eye, why does it matter whether we are carrying them or not?

Well, it may well explain contributing reasons behind our current day issues like

•  anxiety
• depression
• constant insecurity
• low self-esteem
• inability to find loving relationships
• inability to have better success,
• etc

In other words, just because we can’t visually see our wounds does not mean that they don’t exist.

As I understand, according to Sigmund Freud, they are hidden in the deep recesses of our psyche, buried deep in the unconscious. We repress our pain, hurt and anger in these wounds. Because they are yet to be resolved, they can blindside us. It is why we are often in self-sabotage.

Thus, if we don’t heal our past wounds, they can bleed into everything that we do or encounter today.

“We have to listen to the child we once were, the child who still exists inside us. That child understands magic moments. We can stifle its cries, but we cannot silence its voice.The child we once were is still there.” Paul Coelho

Mindfulness Teachings from Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child

I’ve enjoyed reading Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child by Zen Master  Thich Nhat Hanh and thought I’d honour his recent passing by sharing what I’ve learnt about applying mindfulness for healing the inner child.

Connecting with The Energy of Mindfulness

“The energy of mindfulness is the salve that will recognize and heal the child within.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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How to Validate Your Inner Child with What to Say

Validating our inner child is one of the best things we can do, especially if she (he) has suffered from emotional neglect for the longest time. When we validate her feelings, it aids in her healing and recovery. Her unresolved needs of not being listened to are now being met. Ultimately, it boosts our emotional well-being from the inside-out. 

Let’s understand more about what validation is about. In general, when we validate someone, we are showing that we acknowledge his or her emotional experience. The opposite is true of invalidation when we ignore, reject or judge the other person. 

Validation doesn’t mean that we have to agree with the reactions or choices of others. We are simply saying that we can understand why they would feel a certain way based on what happened. Also, we are demonstrating acceptance of who they are – regardless of how they feel or think.

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How Childhood Emotional Neglect Affects Our Mental Health

We tend to pay little regard to any form of emotional neglect that we’ve experienced as a child. After all, it is not as if that we had faced a real survival threat. Nor were we physically abandoned or abused either. So it would seem unthinkable to even imagine that there can be any sort of trauma related to emotional neglect.

Therein lies where the problem is.

Because it did not cross our minds that a lack of self-esteem or our struggles with anxiety and mental health could be contributed by the emotional neglect that we had experienced when we were young, we don’t seek help or therapy for our issues. In fact, we usually perceive that seeking help from professionals as only warranted for major traumas. Sure, problems caused by emotional neglect may be less serious than say, a case of torture or abuse. However, emotional neglect can also cause problematic wounds when we bury them deep in our psyche. 

So, here’s what I eventually discovered…

Emotional neglect can inflict invisible wounds, even in the absence of any physical signs of abuse.

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5 Ways to Get Over Mom Guilt Without Struggle for the Mompreneur

Are you experiencing mom guilt because your business is taking an important place in your priority list….so much so that you are not able to be 100% present for your kids sometimes?

Mom guilt is the worst stealer of joy that can inflict a mompreur who’s trying her best to do the juggling act.

You have been saying yes to the following…
attending to the important sales call

preparing a marketing launch

blogging

doing facebook lives

coaching others

and cutting down on the following….
– joining the parent support group for your kid’s school
– baking cookies for children parties
– monitoring your children in their homework
– organizing play dates and other social events with other moms
– cooking family dinners
– breastfeeding beyond 6 months…

and the list goes on.

I found out that mom guilt never quite go away completely. Even though my girls are teenagers and need a lot less time from me, I still experience the mom guilt every once in a while. Then again, it has not stopped me from establishing the clear boundary between business and my two girls. I have not allowed mom guilt to stop me from pursuing what I want nor use it as an excuse to give up my business altogether.

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3 Mompreneur Mindset Tips That Support Your Success

As a mompreneur, having a mindset that is geared for success is extremely helpful if you are hoping to make serious money. Many mompreneurs fall into the trap of treating their business as a hobby. Let’s face it. A hobby mindset will only earn hobby income…which in the case of a crafty business means earning barely enough to cover the cost of accessories for the most part.

Many new mompreneurs report to one of the following emotions:

1. Guilt if they harbor ambitious dreams
2. Regret for the care-free life they had behind.
3. Shame if they fail to make busincess a success.

Is this true for you too?

Are you also having beliefs such as:

– I am not good enough to run a business;
– I am just not good with anything technical such as putting up a website;
– I can’t do sales and since having a business will involve sales, I can’t do a business;
– I suck at promoting myself;
– I am too slow to be learning anything like business and marketing etc.
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