Tapping into the wisdom of our bodies is the art of paying attention to the information offered by our physical bodies and releasing stuck energies that are trapped. When we pay close attention to our physical sensations in the face of money matters, we are able to decipher the emotional messages that our body has stored. The great news is that these physical impulses from our body are giving us an opportunity to make a shift.
If we ignore these opportunities, we miss out on the chance to release the associated negative patterns tied to our dismal situation. On the other hand, if we stay present to the sensations, we are able to access the information that is needed for release.
Let’s recognise that money is an emotional topic. We get emotionally charged when it comes to money matters. For instance, many of us carry money shame about not being, doing or having better – essentially stories of “not enough”. We may also feel angry with ourselves for not meeting expectations or feel afraid of not having sufficient funds for retirement. As emotional reactions differ for everyone, it is important to discover what yours are like.
What I’ve discovered is this: there are NO positive benefits to holding on to our limiting money stories or negative beliefs about ourselves for ages. In fact, the faster and earlier we clear them, the more freedom and empowerment we create for ourselves. We can choose to live today, instead of waiting till tomorrow. Indeed, building a better relationship with money starts with building a better relationship with ourselves or more specifically, our bodies.
In order to build the best relationship with it, learning to “communicate” with it can be helpful. Ultimately, we are able to receive a better response from our partner. Conversely, when we are not in sync, our ability to relate to each other goes down.
After reviewing what I had learned from my 20 years of marriage, I came up with 5 ways on how best to cultivate communication in a couple relationship. When I put the 5 ways together, I found out that it fitted nicely with a SPARK acronym 🙂
On a wave of inspiration, I extended its application to working with our relationship with money.
Many of us find it easy to celebrate the successes of others but when it comes to validating our wins or acknowledging our accomplishments, we tend to downplay ourselves.
Would this be true for you?
If it is, I’d like to invite you to tap along with me with releasing any fears or feeling unworthy.
Update: I continue to get the same question on how to create a personal energy shield for protection, even though I posted the answer in this article (read below) years ago. Well, I have decided to update it with a Bonus Energy Shield tip#5 and a video.
Why is it important to create a personal energy shield for protection? You’d want to create one if you find yourself constantly drained or have the tendency to be sensitive to energy interferences.
I was prompted to write this article after posting 70 Ways for Self Care. In response to tip #57, Lei – a reader to the article – had asked in the blog comments how she could create one as she has found herself surrounded by toxic people. Well,, I’d like to respond to her question in two parts; one specifically on how to create a personal energy shield for protection and the other, on how to handle toxic relationships in another article.
The 3Ps of Shame can be found in People-pleasing, Perfectionism and Procrastination.
People-pleasing – refers to seeking approval from others and pleasing others in their needs and wants and often at the sacrifice of our own. Perfectionism – the need to be perfect in the way we are, do or have and the refusal to accept flaws, imperfection or mistakes. Procrastination – refers to the constant postponement of activities & employing distraction tactics, so that we can hide from our shame.
As I’ve discovered, self-love is not just a practice but a mindfulness one.
This means that loving ourselves is not a mere one-time or a short-term exercise; whether we are going for a therapy session, a singing bowl meditation to heal our heart chakra or buying ourselves a branded bag so that we can feel better.
Self-love is much more than any of these.
Some of us may have the expectation that self-love can happen magically overnight. The truth is that for those of us with trouble loving and accepting themselves unconditionally, it takes consistent work. It’s certainly been my experience.
Over the years, life would throw me a new challenge again and again and due to being triggered, I’d find myself reverting to the same pattern of feeling unlovable and unloved. At first, I felt disappointed and bitter that none of the healing I did appear to have worked. It would seem that doing inner work was pointless.
Yet, upon review, I realised that my early efforts were sporadic to begin with. Eventually, after seeing how I was caught in repeated patterns, I began to realise that self-love is not going to be an overnight or a one-time healing thing. It finally occurred to me that if I am interested to have enough of a breakthrough, I need to regard self-love as being more of a practice.
EFT tapping for inner child healing involves using our fingertips to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body for addressing childhood wounds. As our physical reactions today could be tied to issues that stem from childhood, applying EFT is effective because unhealed emotions can get trapped and the body keeps the score. Even though the past is long gone, it is possible to heal in the now by applying tapping.
Women often approach me for help to deal with their stress. Their stress can be anything from dealing with a money or work-related challenge, relationship problems, not feeling “good enough”, low self-love to anxiety issues.They would have been holding on to anger, worry, insecurity and frustration for a long time before asking for help. (Understandably, most of us face resistance with getting assistance.)
Some would share about experiencing the same repetitive themes of abandonment and rejection in their lives. Thus, when we get together in a session, we usually begin by patiently peeling off the layers to determine the root cause of their issues. Invariably, we would find out that these issues stem from their past – primarily in childhood. As a result, we are led to working on healing their inner child.
When we clear unfinished business, we are better able to reset our energy system or even rebooting it – so that we can invite in new possibilities.
What does it mean to clear unfinished business?
Clearing unfinished business involves letting go of old attachments, meeting unfulfilled promises, and honouring what we said that we would do. We work on clearing unfinished business because these outstanding items can create a drag in our energy system and can potentially be a stopper for starting things on a clean slate.
In terms of agreements, these could be contractual ones that we have made with an external body; such as getting into a housing loan agreement. Or they could be simply promises that we have made to our loved ones and even ourselves. Examples include
making a commitment for fidelity
saying “yes” to accompanying our partners for an engagement (even though we are not that interested and prefer to stay home)
offering to help out a friend
returning a small debt owed to our parents or relatives
agreeing to pay our share for a split restaurant bill
doing our share of household chores etc
It’s easy to forget the “smaller” promises that we have made but over time, these could add up and weigh on us. We repel abundance when we consistently don’t honour what we said we would do. Our promises don’t count if we have no intention of following through.
Unfinished business also can include grievances, hurts and conflicts that have been left unresolved. These create emotional debris. Even though we may not be conscious of them all the time, they take up space in our energetic system.
Learn more about Clearing Unfinished Business Below
Positive Outcomes from Clearing Unfinished Business
There are benefits to clearing up unfinished business as quickly as possible. We wouldn’t want to wait till we are on our deathbed to recall the promises that we’ve not yet kept. It certainly doesn’t serve us to hold on to any outstanding item year after year.
We even up any score that is left hanging at the back of our subconscious minds when we work on meeting our obligations. At the same time, we also prevent self-sabotage from taking place. In the physical dimension, we follow through with clear intent and action. We are in congruence – body, mind and spirit.
Our relationship with money improves. Not forgetting, many contracts and agreements involve money. When we keep to the terms of our agreement, we are in integrity. As a result we raise our energetic frequency that brings about more expansiveness, which also supports our ability to attract abundance.
Relationships with our partners also improve where we honour the promises that we make. Trust increases. We feel more grounded and secure in relationships where both parties keep to their word.
By releasing old attachments to the past, we create space for new relationships or to rejuvenate existing ones. Clearing unfinished business may require us to cut cords with negative or toxic people in our lives, let go of old grievances, practice forgiveness and move on to creating new and more fulfilling relationships.
What To Do Next: Create a List of Outstanding Items for Unfinished Business
Here are some reflection questions for you…
What are the promises that you have made to yourself or others that you haven’t quite met?
Are there any contracts or agreements that you have said “yes” to but there are remaining terms that you have not quite followed through on?
Any outstanding debts or loans to attend to? How is your plan to meet your obligations like?
Any old relationship ties that you need to say good-bye to?
Any grievances or grudges to resolve?
What past emotional baggage does it serve your highest interest to let go of?
Once you’ve created a list, prioritise the items according to how much lighter and freer you are going to feel as a result of clearing it. Create an action plan for working through the list and also specifying dates and timelines. Check off your list as you complete the items.
Clearing unfinished business is one of the modules in my course on Changing Your Relationship with Money. Alternatively, apply for a discovery call if you need personal help to work on clearing unfinished business.
Create more energetic space to invite in the new!
Love and abundance always, Evelyn Abundance Coach for Women Solopreneurs
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Validating our inner child is one of the best things we can do, especially if she (he) has suffered from emotional neglect for the longest time. When we validate her feelings, it aids in her healing and recovery. Her unresolved needs of not being listened to are now being met. Ultimately, it boosts our emotional well-being from the inside-out.
Let’s understand more about what validation is about. In general, when we validate someone, we are showing that we acknowledge his or her emotional experience. The opposite is true of invalidation when we ignore, reject or judge the other person.
Validation doesn’t mean that we have to agree with the reactions or choices of others. We are simply saying that we can understand why they would feel a certain way based on what happened. Also, we are demonstrating acceptance of who they are – regardless of how they feel or think.
