How to Reduce Relationship Conflicts: Make Observations, Not Evaluations

“Observations are the windows to empathy, while evaluations are the doors to conflict.” Marshall Rosenberg

Are you tired of encountering misunderstandings and conflicts in your conversations?

Well, a good book to read is this: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg.

The author offers a ton of valuable tips for us.

One such tip: separate observations from evaluation. 

Observations focus on factual information without judgment, while evaluations involve personal interpretations and assessments.

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Why You May Want to Reconsider the Business Advice of “Charge What You Are Worth”

Many business coaches often have the advice of “charge what you are worth” when it comes to pricing your coaching services. Even though you could be in the midst of getting your business off the ground, they may still recommend that you charge high prices for your time. They assure you that you are worthy and deserving and that at the soul level, you are also of infinite worth. Hence, you are justified to raise your prices since you are “more than enough”.  

Admittedly, such advice can stoke anyone’s ego. And since they are your business coaches, you may decide to take their advice by charging a high hourly rate. Yet, in reality, this advice may not be helpful especially if you are not backed by adequate coaching experience or have not been able to generate enough business. 

Let’s examine what it means to “charge what you are worth”, so that we can make better sense of the advice. 

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The Secret to Manifestation that No One Tells You About

When you are trying to decide whether or not to pursue a goal or dream, don’t expect to have absolute guarantee or proof that things will work before you are willing to put in “trust”.

You may be praying for some signs from heaven but you’ve barely heard a squawk. Perhaps you’ve secretly been hoping for some iron-clad assurance that will allay your fears of making a mistake or going down the wrong path but that would be wishful thinking! 

Alas, it doesn’t work that way. I’ve been in the same shoes and what I’ve discovered is this: you can wait for assurance but so long as you don’t trust or believe, the dream that you want to see happen will not take place. Nothing would have moved or changed very much. 

Instead, the Universe is saying, trust first with aligned actions and the manifestation will follow. 

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How Emotions Got Stuck in the Body

Have you ever felt scared just as a storm was brewing and there was loud rumbling thunder, whistling winds and lighting bolts in the sky?

Well, a deer in the forest instantly senses fear. 

It is most likely to be prancing, kicking, shaking and chattering thrice as much in nervous tension.

In fact, most wild animals react in the same manner when they are feeling scared. They can’t keep still. Moving around helps them to discharge the negative energy from their bodies.

However, humans are taught differently.

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Metaphysical Lessons from Everything Everywhere All at Once

How Reparenting Helps to Address Your Insecure Attachment Style

If you have an insecure attachment style, you can potentially benefit from doing some reparenting work. Insecure attachment affects those in their ability to form healthy relationships, make decisions and/or to cope emotionally. On the other hand, reparenting yourself helps you to heal your inner child, gain trust and maintain emotional stability. Thus, you enhance your ability to cultivate close relationships, boost confidence and enhance overall well-being. 

Attachment styles first came from the work of John Bowlby, a psychologist. He first proposed Attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s. Attachment theory helps us to find out more about the nurturing that was experienced during the initial years of our life and how it affects us today.

Bowlby’s view is that the bond between mother and child is most important of all. The first formative 18 months is very crucial in the child’s development. Where there is adequate nurturing, the child grows up to be a secure adult. Conversely, the absence of adequate nurturing leads to insecure attachment and the forming of invisible emotional wounds that often results in maladjustments in the emotional, social and cognitive development of the child. 

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Reparenting Yourself: What Does It Mean and How to Get Started

What does reparenting yourself mean?

Reparenting yourself simply means healing your inner child and giving your inner child the love and the guidance and support that you didn’t receive when you were young, in the present. 

[Update] Check out my new online course on How to Reparent Yourself. 

How to Connect with Your Inner Child using S.H.I.F.T.

You may be wondering about how you can connect with your inner child. For a start, you may even have some doubts about the idea of having a wounded inner child. After all, it is not like the inner child is a being that you can actually see or hear externally. Let alone one that is wounded. How, then, do you connect with your inner child, if you are interested to heal aspects about your childhood? 

Well….it is true that you can’t actually see your inner child with your naked eye. It may even feel like you are playing pretend when you close your eyes and attempt to see your inner child. Yet, just because you can’t see something with opened eyes does not mean that it does not exist. For example, just because you can’t see electricity does not mean that it is not working in the background when you turn the lamp on. 

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How to Shift from a Scarcity into an Abundance Mindset

Steven Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first coined the terms of a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. Scarcity mindset refers to the paradigm of looking at life as finite, as if there is a limited number of pieces in a pie. On the other hand, an abundance mindset refers to the paradigm where there is enough and there is plenty for everyone. 

Here’s how Stephen Covey describes the Scarcity Mindset…

Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.

The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. The also have a a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.

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How You Can Schedule Healthy Money Dates into Your Calendar

A money date is one where you are working on your finances; whether on your own, with your partner or team. It is one where you specify a day and time on your calendar for a money-related activity that is meant to help you consolidate, improve and/or strengthen your personal or joint financial position. It may be that you need to work on

• budgeting for a trip, 
• creating a spreadsheet to monitor expenses, 
• discussing with your partner on financial options, 
• reviewing your earnings, 
• finding better ways to minimise tax, 
• paying down your loans,
• moving of investment funds between accounts, 
• getting updated advice from your financial planner,
• create a financial plan to help you manifest the lifestyle that you want etc. 

By scheduling money dates on a regular basis, you are better able to identify gaps, opportunities and ideas instead of making any personal financial activity as a once-a-year event.

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