BE-DO-HAVE?
(Min dancing in joy – a great state to BE!!! Photo: limevelyn on flickr)
I’ve got a question for you today: Do you live your life according to HAVE-DO-BE or BE-DO-HAVE?
“Huh…what???” you may reply. I can almost imagine you looking baffled at this point.
Well, let me explain.
Most of us are living our lives according to HAVE-DO-BE. It’s not a great way to live, I’m afraid. We are, in actual fact, getting things reversed.
The secret to abundance (having all-there-is such as happiness, love, peace, joy, success, etc) is to BE-DO-HAVE. The BE-DO-HAVE order as very much aligned to how we can apply Universal laws (including the Law of Attraction) in the process of creation i.e. the creation of our external reality.
HAVE-DO-BE
I first encountered the idea of our HAVE-TO-BEs in the Conversations with God series. The paradox is that most of us believe that we must HAVE something first before we can DO something and then we can BE abundant or whatever we define our desired end state to be. The HAVE-DO-BE pervades almost every aspect of our lives. I must confess that I have been largely guilty of buying into the “HAVE-DO-BE” paradigm for a long time. A clearer perspective now allows me to see how HAVE-DO-BE is little aligned to abundance. Following are some examples.
We define our dreams mostly by material things. A big house. A flaming red sports car. A million -dollar online business. We need to HAVE what our neighbors are having, so that we can DO the things they enjoy and then we will BE successful. Or, we need to HAVE all these material possessions, then we can DO all the various things (like travel the world, lead the high life, or sip champagne on our yacht) and then we will BE happy.
In the area of beauty, the same formula is being used. Beauty is often treasured based on outward appearances. Most certainly, we are not helped by the constant bombardment of media ads that continue to prey on our insecurities. Consequently, we think we have to HAVE the looks first (and if we don’t, we can solve our lack of one by breast implants, plastic surgery or Botox) before we DO attract the dream partner and then we can BE happily married ever after!
In the practice of spirituality, it is also easy to fall prey to assuming the same HAVE-DO-BE paradigm. We tell ourselves that we HAVE to experience blissful states in our meditation before we can BE contented. I remember a time when I used to get frustrated because I failed to experience jhanas in my meditation at each quiet sitting. I had, during that period, tasted the low fruits of bliss a few times and started to crave for them at every meal. I also longed for bigger feasts. No surprises that I got very disappointed!!!!
Then, if you have been hoping to become a best selling book author, have you been adopting the same HAVE-DO-BE fallacy yourself? Your thinking goes: I need to HAVE more time and then I can write my book and then I will be so happy because I can live off the royalties that I earn from it. If you have been studying materials from the law of attraction, then you must know that worrying over the “hows” and needing the “haves” right up front can create blockages to the creative process.
All in all, the problem with HAVE-DO-BE is that it is very much based on living in the future. We are not happy in the present moment. We do not realize that underneath all that motivation in working hard to HAVE what we want, are thought patterns based on lack. Craving fuels us to work harder and harder. We desire what we do not have intensely and lament that despite all our struggles, we are still very far from our dreams.
The BEs that we are in is hardly a state of abundance. Emotionally, we tie our happiness to our desired outcomes. We have little no or awareness about how we are letting external events dictate our inner state. Our lives have been pretty much an open door to emotional upheaval!! We become trapped in a constant cycle of yearning and not feeling fulfilled.
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BE-DO-HAVE
The way the Universe works is that we BE happy, peaceful or contented and we take (or DO) the necessary actions from this state of BEing. Creatively, we then bring forth the outcome we desired to have in the first place.
The next question you may ask is how do you BE when you are not there yet? Do you fake it? The answer is no. You can’t fake something and have a higher state of energy resonance show up in your auric field. It is just not possible. The best way from how I’m understanding things to be is to work the process out in incremental steps.
You need to determine what you need to BE to HAVE what you want to have. You begin to BE, even in whatever small ways, from your current position. When you start to BE, you choose to be happy, appreciative, peaceful, contented or whatever it is that you ultimately desire right now. You can do so by being appreciative, counting your blessings and viewing things in perspective. Your focus is on the “present moment”, cultivating joy for what you already have.
Your emotion-backed thoughts immediately put you at a higher level of energy vibration. Your aura shines somewhat brighter. Like a magnet, you also begin to attract frequencies that correspond to better outcomes. As you move up the scale in happiness, peace or contentment, you eventually get to the vibrational level that matches your desired dream of abundance.
“In life, you do not have to do anything. It is all a question of what you are being”.
— Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God
BE-DO-HAVE or HAVE-DO-BE?
How are you living your life today? Share your comments/story/ideas in today’s food-for-thought post.